At The Blade
by MissNovelistic
Summary: Eleanor Compton considered herself a coward. Running from the consequences of her choices, she joined Raven on her journey to Earth. Now she is faced with things worse than being floated everyday. It is kill or be killed on Earth. Will this pacifist be too set in her ways to survive? Or will she be shaped into a stronger, braver, person with her trials? Season 1. Bellamy/OC
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Thanks for picking to read this story! I looooove the 100 and have tons of ideas, but I've taken this one and ran with it! Seriously. Currently at 30k words. I'm hoping to update regularly, so follow to stay in the know!**

 **Italics are flashbacks in case it's not obvious.**

* * *

"Raven?" I called out, my eyes were wide as we stopped spinning, the view of Earth just ahead of our tiny pod taunting us. "I have to tell you something!"

"What?" She asked, flipping switches quickly without looking at me. I swallowed and tried to contain the nausea rolling in my stomach.

"I think I forgot to mention- I'm scared of heights." She paused what she was doing to look at me, her hand still on the switches.

"Yeah. A little late for that!" She practically yelled, although I could see a hint of a smile on her terrified face. And then the ship rocked, and a nervous shout left my mouth.

"This is by far the stupidest thing we have ever done!" I yelled, using both hands to grip the makeshift seatbelts. I hadn't thought we'd actually get to this point, hurtling to Earth. The space suit I was wearing trapped all the heat inside, leaving me a puddle of sweat. Not that I wouldn't be sweating with a more breathable space suit. Deciding to drop to Earth in a tiny escape pod under any circumstances would leave me sweating.

Raven continued pressing buttons, not seeming at all perturbed by the fact that we could die in just a few minutes. I, on the other hand, was barely keeping my tears in, knowing that me freaking out would not help Raven. Earth was over Raven's shoulder, and while I was looking past her, she was looking at the necklace Finn had given her, knotted around a lever but still loose enough to float in zero gravity.

"We'll make it." I promised, setting a hand on her leg. She looked up at me, and both of our guards were down. The fear I saw in her eyes mirrored my own. We had no choice but to hope we would make it down.

She ran through her checklist to begin our descent, as though talking out loud would make everything more bearable. "Are you ready?" She asked, her hand on the thruster valve, ready to pull down.

I nodded, my hand covering hers. "Are you?" I asked, squeezing our hands together. She didn't answer, instead pulling the lever down. For a second, nothing happened, and then we were both jerked back in our seats, the force feeling like all of my insides were being squished to my spine. I couldn't even hear myself screaming as everything redlined and our vision of Earth was covered with flames licking the outside of our space craft.

This was it. This was the end. I was sure of it. Just a few seconds and my vision was fading, the pressure drop too much for me.

* * *

 _"_ _So how are you, Abby?" I asked, crossing my legs over one another as we sat in the empty clinic._

 _She scoffed and brought one leg up to her chest, the other balancing her computer in case of an emergency. "I'm only here because Jaha ordered it." I nodded and set my pad to the side, showing her I wouldn't be taking any notes._

 _"_ _I'm only here for you to talk to." She leaned back, her brown hair falling over her shoulders as she closed her eyes for a moment._

 _"_ _I think Jackson is doing well." She muttered, rubbing her hands over her eyes to rid them of sleepiness._

 _"_ _He's following your orders well." Abby straightened up again, looking straight at me._

 _"_ _When your superior was floated, did it take you long to pick up the slack?" I tilted my head at her question, eyes narrowing. Why would she ask me something like that? "I mean, I know you had been working as a Science teacher for the younger kids, and jumping from teaching a few weeks worth of psychology material to becoming head Counselor is a big step."_

 _"_ _No, I suppose not." I answered steadily, bringing the pen to my mouth to chew. "But everything would be a lot easier if he was still here." I uncrossed my legs and leaned my forearms onto my elbows, my own dark hair falling over my shoulders. "Abby, you're not thinking that we'd be better off without you here, are you?" She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms, leaning back into her seat. It was like she was building a wall between us. We had been friends for a while now, ever since my superior had been floated. Abby had helped me out when I was overwhelmed. Two and a half years ago, I had been a science teacher for the children's classes, following my mother's footsteps. When I'd grown tired of doing the same thing over and over again, it was my mother that encouraged me to take a spot as a counselor. Just a few months after that, my superior was floated, and I was forced to pick up his jobs._

 _"_ _I wish there was a way I could be with the 100." I nodded, knowing Clarke, her daughter and one of my clients, had been sent to Earth with the rest of the prisoners._

 _"_ _In two months, we'll be able to join them, hopefully." I offered, my hands clasping each other._

 _She nodded, not looking at me. "I just know I'd be of more help down there. I know those kids aren't dying. They're taking off their wristbands. We just have to prove it."_

 _We? Who was she talking about? "Is there a way to prove it?" I asked instead, genuinely interested._

 _Abby looked me over, almost as if decided I was worth telling this secret to._

 _"_ _Yes." She finally answered, copying my body position and leaning towards me._

* * *

All the beeping had stopped, but I couldn't see anything. Was it dark outside? "Raven?" My voice croaked, and as I tried to lean up, my head spun and soreness raced across all of my body. I set it back against the dash board, instead reaching a hand out to Raven, who lay still beside me. "Raven?" I tried again, shaking her shoulder. She didn't make any noises, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. No way in hell did I make it this far for her to die on me. I pushed against the dash board again, every muscle in my body protesting the movement. I pushed against the door and it opened suddenly, making me tumble out. I pulled the stupid helmet off of my head, breathing in the fresh air. My head spun, and as I tried to bring my arms underneath me again, they collapsed. I managed to roll onto my back, and for the first time in my life, I saw the stars above me, unobstructed by a tiny porthole. They spun above me, making it hard to concentrate on any of them, and I wondered briefly if one of the stars could be the Ark. My eyes shut on their own accord, the sound of radio static lulling me to sleep.

* * *

 _"_ _Abby, I am not letting you walk out of here when you're planning on killing yourself!" I begged, grabbing her arm._

 _"_ _I'm not killing myself, Eleanor." Abby replied calmly, organizing the medicine cabinet._

 _"_ _Flying in a hundred year old piece of junk to Earth is suicide! What do you even know about flying? How will you fix it?" Abby stopped and turned to face me._

 _"_ _Maybe I need someone else to help me, but you can bet your life that I will find a way down to them." I swallowed hard as she turned away. I had two choices here. I could go to Jaha or Kane with her plan, and lose Abby as a friend._

 _"_ _Wait." I called out, holding a hand up. Or, I could help her. I knew we were running low on oxygen and resources. Earth was our only option. "I won't tell anyone," I promised, taking a step closer. "But I want to help you." Abby grew cold in her stare at me as I saw the wheels in her head turning. "I think I know someone who can help repair the ship." I told her, my hand squeezing her wrist. She searched my eyes another moment before she nodded in agreeance._

* * *

"Miss Compton!" My shoulder was being shaken, and I struggled to open my eyes. The sun blinded me, and I blinked several times, trying to adjust them. I turned to my right to see Clarke grinning down at me. Her face a bit smudged with dirt and her hair was tangled, but otherwise she looked okay. _It's because of her that we're here,_ I reminded myself, thinking of how Abby had told me to find and protect her. I groaned and closed my eyes, bringing my hands to my face. She shook my shoulder again, urging me to get up. "Come on, Miss Compton. You need to get up."

I groaned and put my hands firmly against the ground, pushing myself to a sitting position. "Is this a dream?" I asked, looking around at all the green I could see. The air felt so moist, something I had only felt a few times in the Agro station, where our food on the Ark was grown.

"No, this is real." Clarke promised, a hand on my shoulder. I grinned and looked up at the sky, seeing nothing but bright blue covering every inch.

My eyes fell to the craft we had fallen in, the outside of it scorched. "Raven. . ." I whispered, trying to get to my feet. Clarke seemed to realize what I meant, leaving my side to open the door. When Clarke shot a grin back at me, my heart lifted, a smile covering my face.

While Clarke helped Raven out of the escape pod, I struggled to slide out of the bulky space suit and stretch my sore muscles. Raven had begun spinning in circles as water began falling from the sky.

"Is this rain?" Raven asked Clarke, who nodded with a grin. I looked up to the sky and opened my mouth, letting the little drops of water fall into my mouth and over my face.

It was just so _peaceful_ here. The Ark couldn't even compare to it.

"Welcome home." Clarke told us quietly, fighting back a huge grin. Raven giggled and looked back up to the sky, before looking at me.

"We made it!" She grinned, holding her arms open for me. I dashed into them, squeezing the taller girl in my arms as we spun in a circle with laughter, ecstatic to be alive.

"Raven!" Someone called from behind us. All of us turned to look as a boy jogged up to us, another of the prisoners. His hair was shaggy and soaked with the rain, and he glanced between the three of us for a moment.

"Finn!" Raven called out. _Ahh. So this was Finn._ The boy that had kept her mind so focused on coming to Earth. Honestly, without him, we wouldn't even be here. We'd still be stuck on the Ark, death beckoning nearer and nearer as our oxygen supply depleted. I smiled as the two of them embraced, murmuring to each other before kissing passionately. I almost wished that I had someone like that down here. But I was alone, and the thought didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

At least I was here. I turned back to face Clarke, giving them some privacy. But her eyes were cast on the couple, a heartbroken look on her face. Realization dawned on me as I realized that she probably had a thing with Finn while Raven was still on the Ark. Clarke caught me watching her and immediately steeled herself, glancing at the ground before looking me in the eyes.

"Don't call me Miss Compton anymore. I go by Ellen." I told her, trying to distract her. "And I have some supplies that I gathered before we came down here." I told her, gesturing to the escape pod. She nodded and followed me closer, allowing me to grab the two backpacks I'd filled with as much medical supplies and food as I could fit. "It's not much, just antiseptic, antibiotics, a few surgical tools Abbey had been able to fit." I passed her the pack with the medical supplies, grabbing the one filled with food packs. "And I grabbed as much food as I could. I got a few seed packets from Agro Station, but I don't know how well everything is going down here, but at least it's something." I told her, wishing I'd thought to grab more medical stuff. It was obvious there was plenty growing here, they shouldn't have much problem with food. Clarke had leaned back out, conversing with the boy named Finn while I organized a few things that had fallen around. I reached underneath Raven's seat, where she'd stowed the radio, when I felt nothing but straps there. I ducked my head down to the bottom, my hands searching the dark space.

"Raven?" I called out in panic, dropping my bag on the ground and looking further into the pod. I followed the straps that had been holding it in place with my fingertips, but they were torn off.

Raven came beside me, patting underneath the opposite side of the pod. "The radio's gone!" She told Clarke and Finn. "It must have gotten loose during reentry." She reasoned. "I should've strapped to the A-strut." She smacked her hand against the pod, blaming herself.

"No, no this is my fault." Clarke offered. "Someone got here before us. We have to find him." I furrowed my brows as she pulled the pack onto her back, indicating for us to get moving.

"I'm Finn, by the way." The boy with the shaggy hair held his hand out, and I took it in greeting.

"Eleanor Compton." I replied, shaking it as before we began a light jog to catch up with Clarke.

"Like the children's teacher on the Ark?" He asked, immediately retreating into a shell.

"I haven't been a teacher in almost two years." I replied, nearly tripping on a rock. "Head Counselor now." I could feel him watching me, but I kept my eyes focused on the ground to keep from tripping on all the rocks and tree roots.

"She's not bad, I promise." Raven told him, patting my back. "Besides being a complete dork she's pretty cool." I rolled my eyes as we caught up to Clarke, who was looking in all directions before settling on going left.

Thins remained quiet as we saved our breath for running, when Clarke suddenly started running faster, shouting out a "Hey!"

I sped up and came behind her as she put her hand on a taller boys shoulder, spinning him around to face us.

"Where is it?" She demanded.

"Hey, Princess. You taking a walk in the woods?" He asked, ignoring her question. I strode up as I recognized Bellamy Blake, one of the clients whose mental state I was chosen to evaluate. I remembered his case clearly, he had the only sister on the Ark. His brown eyes turned to me, not seeming at all surprised to see me. "Doc. Nice of you to join us." He commented. Clarke looked between me and him, obviously realizing we'd known each other.

"They're getting ready to kill 300 people up there to save oxygen." Clarke pleaded. "And I can guarantee you it won't be council members. It'll be working people. Your people." He stared down at her, and I could see him thinking, when he was suddenly pushed by Finn.

"Bellamy!" Finn called out in a mock excited way. "Where's the radio?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Bellamy sneered, shoving back against Finn. Raven joined up with us, instantly ready to fight.

"Bellamy Blake? They're looking everywhere for you." Raven shot, looking him up and down.

"Shut up." He spat without sparing her a glance.

"Looking for him why?" Clarke inquired, stepping into the circle once again.

"He shot Chancellor Jaha." Things grew tense for a moment as they all looked at him, instantly accusing. Fighting against my better judgement, I took a step in front of Bellamy, holding both my hands up in front of everyone.

"That's why you took the wristbands. Needed everyone to think we're dead!" Clarke accused.

"And all that _whatever the hell we want?_ You just care about saving your own skin." Finn supplied, taking another step closer. I held a hand up against Finn's chest, not letting him come any closer.

"That's enough, for now." I told them, turning to face Bellamy. He looked down at me, using his hand to wipe at his mouth before turning and walking away.

"Hey! Shooter! Where's my radio?" Raven asked, catching up to him and standing in front of him.

"Get out of my way." He replied while taking a step around her.

"Where is it?" She demanded, jumping back and landing in his way again.

"I should've killed you when I had the chance." He muttered, glaring down at her.

"Really? Well, I'm right here." She whispered. I saw him grab the lapels of her jacket and slam her against a tree, his hand around her neck, but her own hand had reached into her pocket and pulled out a knife, holding it threateningly in front of his face. Clarke, Finn, and I ran forwards, ready to stop them from doing anything rash.

"Where's my radio?" Raven asked again, not scared at all.

"Okay, that's enough." I interjected. I set a hand on top of Raven's and my other on top of Bellamy's wrist. They both held for a second longer before breaking apart, leaving me standing in the middle with a hand held out to both.

"Jaha deserved to die, you all know that." Bellamy told us, taking another step away.

"Yeah, he's not my favorite person either." Raven called back, rubbing her hand over her neck while Finn checked her over. "But he isn't dead." She smirked, knowing she'd caught him off guard.

Bellamy stared at us with disbelief. "What?"

"You didn't kill him." I answered as I let my hands drop down to my side. "He's not dead, Bellamy." I reiterated.

"You're a lousy shot." Raven called out.

Clarke strode towards Bellamy showing she was not afraid to get in his face. "Bellamy, don't you see what this means? You're not a murderer." She insisted while laying a hand on his elbow. "You always did what you had to do to protect your sister. _That's_ who you are." Bellamy stared hard at the ground, deep in thought. "And you can do that again by protecting 300 of your people." She paused for a moment. "Where's the radio?" She asked, less demanding this time, but definitely more desperately.

Bellamy pursed his lips before answering. "It's too late." My head tilted back to look at the sky. My mother was still up there. As of right now, our top priority was making contact with the Ark before it was really too late. There had to be a way to get the radio up and working in time.

"What did you do with it?" Clarke asked gently as though she was trying not to spook an animal.

* * *

An hour later and we were back at the bank, having walked all the way to camp before coming right back with several more people. I was honestly impressed with how well they'd been doing for the week they'd been down. They'd utilized a lot of the supplies from their dropship. A wall had been erected to protect them from the wild animals that could wander in. A few people had walked up to Raven and I and asked if we knew anything of their parents or friends, but Raven and I had chosen to put off answering anything until after we'd recovered the radio. Most simply stared at us, probably shocked that we had actually made it down. I was happy to see that, unlike assumed, most, if not all, of the prisoners were still alive.

"I didn't know they were going to kill anyone." Bellamy confessed while I stood a few feet away in the water. I turned to look him over. I'd had a few counseling sessions with him while he was a cadet, needing a psychological test before he would be approved for the guard, and then again when it was discovered he had a sister. Once his sister had been found out, I'd been the one to interview him in front of the Council to determine if he would be floated due to association, or if I could present a valid claim that his mother had forced him to protect his sister. Of course, I'd made the decision that it was due to influence by his mother and he would not pose a threat to society. The Council had barely accepted it, passing with just over half the votes.

I recalled the last time I'd talked to Bellamy, the day after his mother had been floated.

* * *

 _"_ _Bellamy, please, just open up." I called out, the bottle of moonshine grasped in my hand. "I have something for youuu." I sang, hoping he would open up. Still, the door in front of me remained shut. "Maybe, you're not really in there, and I'm just talking to a door. Which is fine. That's how talking with you felt sometimes." I joked. I was quiet for a moment, listening for any sign of movement inside. When there was none, I turned with my back to the wall, debating staying and waiting or leaving. His mom had just been floated, his sister in the sky box with no chance of coming out soon, and he was alone. I knew he needed a friend, and while the Head Counselor was maybe not his first choice, it was the only way I could think of to show I was there to support him._

 _The door creaked open beside me, and I pursed my lips when I saw Bellamy turn away from me to walk back inside, leaving the door open. I followed him in, shutting it behind me. The lights were turned to the lowest setting, the main room feeling empty and cold._

 _Bellamy fell onto the couch, observing me as I took in his disheveled state. His normally slicked back hair was left undone and messy, and I could see the stubble growing across his face. I knew if I got closer I'd see his red and swollen eyes. I knew Bellamy was attractive. I was at the age where I was being influenced to find a husband, have a baby and continue to contribute to society. Bellamy had, at one point, been an interest for me, but that was quickly dashed after he was demoted from Guard to janitor. Even me being here would be frowned upon. It was unprofessional. I had just convinced the Council not to float him. If they caught me here, they might choose to take me off the case and reevaluate him._

 _I said nothing, but held out the bottle of moonshine. He took it from me without a word, taking a big sip. I stood for a minute, unsure of where to sit, when Bellamy patted the seat beside him. I sat down and accepted the moonshine, taking a sip of it to ease my nerves._

 _The counselor side of me told me to get him talking, to get him to open up, but the other side of me told me to shut up and just stay next to him. He took the moonshine from me again, taking a bigger gulp this time._

 _"_ _Slow down there." I told him quietly, easing the bottle from his hands. He scoffed and snatched it back from my hands to take another sip. I narrowed my eyes at him with a grin, taking it from him to take another sip._

 _"_ _Don't try to keep up with me, Doc." He used the nickname he'd given me, taking the bottle again. I wasn't technically a Doctor yet, but I was working for the title. "I've had a bad week." I pursed my lips, pulling my legs up to my chest._

 _"_ _Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, maneuvering so my back was against the arm of the couch and I was facing my body to him._

 _He said nothing for a moment, instead swirling the contents of the bottle. "I should never have taken her to the dance." I waited for him to continue. "She'd still be here, safe, if I hadn't snuck her out." He told me, taking another swig._

 _"_ _Bellamy, you can't blame this on yourself."_

 _"_ _But it's my fault." He replied, tears in his eyes. I shook my head, setting one of my feet down so I could lean closer._

 _"_ _It's not, Bellamy. Did you cause the solar flare?" I asked, already knowing exactly what had happened._

 _"_ _I might as well have." He joked, staring at the bottle._

 _"_ _Bellamy." I insisted, setting another hand on his cheek so he would look at me. I could see the tears threatening to fall over his eyes, but he did nothing to stop them. My heart broke at how hurt he was. If there was anything I could do to help him, I would. "Your sister doesn't blame you." I tried, my thumb rubbing his jaw line. Tears fell down his cheek, and I quickly reached up to swipe them away._

 _"_ _My mom is dead, my sister is going to be dead, because I wanted her to see outside of this stupid room." He replied gravelly, his eyes seeming distant as he thought of them. I shook my head, biting back my own tears._

 _Bellamy and I weren't that close, but I'd managed to catch him at his probably most vulnerable time. One of his hands came up to my cheek, rubbing a tear that had slipped from my own eye. And then, his lips were suddenly pressing against mine, shocking me._

 _My eyes closed of their own accord, one hand falling to his shoulder while his free hand dropped the bottle of moonshine on the floor. I felt a hand snaking around my waist before pulling me closer to him._

 _Although I kissed him back, my mind was racing. I need to stop, I need to stop, I kept telling myself. Maybe it was a mixture of the moonshine and the knowledge that Bellamy needed someone to comfort him, but I couldn't pull myself away. The heat from his body and the way he held me tight in his arms was scrambling my brain. When his lips left mine to travel to my neck, I took a deep breath, giving me a moment to really process what was happening. This was wrong. This was so wrong. This was a mistake._

 _I pushed myself away from him, back onto my own two feet, Bellamy reaching out to me to pull me back in. I took a step away, steeling myself. His hand still stretched towards my waist, beckoning me to come close again. Would it really be so bad? Bellamy was attractive. One night wouldn't ruin everything._

 _"_ _I can't, Bell. . ." I told him quietly, backing up. "We're just friends." I told him, making myself believe it. I saw sadness flash across his eyes before he covered it with a mask of anger._

 _"_ _You could save her."_

 _"_ _I'm not on her case, I can't do anything-"_

 _"_ _Well switch it around, you're Head Counselor!"_

 _"_ _It's not that simple, Bellamy."_

 _"_ _You should have gotten her out! Who cares if I got floated? She could be safe!"_

 _"S_ _he's safe where is now!"_

 _"_ _She's locked in the sky box, I can't even see her!"_

 _"_ _We can try and work out something so you can-"_

 _"_ _You have to get her out." He pleaded, on his knees in front of me. I was speechless. I knew there were rules against fraternizing with patients, but on a ship with less than 3000 people, the rules weren't strongly enforced. I shook my head while raising my hands and stepping backwards. This was stupid and dangerous. Desperation causes people to do crazy things, and right now I was wondering if maybe Bellamy was on the edge of one of those breaks. He was raising up in front of me to his full height. He towered several inches over me._

 _"_ _Get out." He told me firmly while picking up the bottle of moonshine._

 _"_ _Bellamy." I pleaded although I didn't move. He glanced up at me, and for a second his eyes softened before they became guarded once again._

 _"_ _Get out!" He yelled louder this time, standing up to tower over me. I took a step back towards the door, but I reached out for him as though I could change his mind._

 _He lifted the arm with the moonshine above his head, and threw it in my direction. I ducked as it flew overhead, smashing into the wall next to the door. I thought about staying and fighting with him, although I knew it could end up bad._

 _But he began stalking for me, and I turned and ran, fear growing inside me. I made it outside his door and leaned against the wall outside for a second the shock coursing through me. He'd never seemed to be an angry drunk, but I guess losing your whole family could do that to a person. A loud slam against the metal made me jump away from the wall, and I knew it was Bellamy either throwing something against the wall or using his own fists. Like a coward I chose to run._

* * *

"No one could have guessed it, Bellamy." I replied, slipping away from the memory and back into my counselling mode.

"I was so stupid." He smacked his head into his hands, and I took a deep breath before I came and sat in front of him, leaving my feet in the running water. I looked back at him. I kept my hands in the water to feel the rush over my fingers.

He remained stoic, and I pursed my lips as I thought of a reply. _Yes, Bellamy. It was very stupid of you to throw the only radio we had into the river, thereby practically killing 300 people. Their blood is on your hands._ I shook the thoughts out of my head, instead turning to look at the sky. "I'm not asking you to justify yourself." I finally said, hoping that he would take it as acceptance. "Just. . ." I could feel him watching me. "Show that you deserve to be forgiven." I said nothing else, instead standing to my feet to begin searching for the radio again.

It only took a few minutes with everyone helping, when Jones, a boy I'd just met on the walk over, called out that he'd found it. Raven rushed over in front of me, grabbing it from him to look over the damage.

"Can you fix it?" Clarke asked as a tiny group formed.

Raven picked out pieces of seaweed that had gotten caught in it. "Maybe." She shook it and a cascade of water fell from it. "But it'll take half a day just to dry out the components and see what's broken."

"Like I said," Bellamy interrupted. "It's too late." I could see by the hard look his face that he'd already accepted the fact that he'd killed so many people.

"Do you have any idea what you did?" Clarke stormed up to him, the water splashing at our feet. "Do you even care?" She yelled.

"You asked me to help. I helped."

"300 people are gonna die today because of you." I set a hand on her shoulder to ease her back.

"Hold up!" Raven called out, and we turned to look at her. "We don't have to talk to the Ark. We just have to let them know we're down here, right?" She looked at me, and I nodded, although I couldn't see where she was going with this.

"Yeah, but how do we do that with no radio?" Finn asked solemnly. She grinned knowingly, pressing the radio to her chest.

"Let's see what we can scavenge from our escape pod, I think I have an idea." She answered, and I grinned, knowing that whatever plan Raven was forming could work.

After all, she'd turned a hunk of metal into an escape pod that had made it down to earth with minimal damage.

* * *

 **There it is! The first chapter. Please, please review and follow! I appreciate any comments or criticism. Although I have most of the story planned out, let me know if there is anything you'd like me to add! I apologize for any mistakes, let me know and I will go back and fix them.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DamonSalvatorelover: Glad you enjoyed it! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

* * *

"Look, there's a reason I don't do chemicals!" I laughed as Raven tried to show me the correct formula for the flares.

"No, come on, it's easy. Hold onto this while I get this heated." She was holding a pan over one of the fires in camp, passing me a plastic bucket filled with the chemicals she'd be using to make the flares go. I tried not to think about the fact that they would soon be very combustible. I wrapped my hands firmly around the top of the bucket. _I will not drop this. I will not drop this. I will not-_ Someone pushed into me from behind and I stumbled. Raven dropped the pan she'd been heating into the fire and lunging towards me to keep me from dropping the bucket into the fire.

"Watch where the fuck you're going!" Raven yelled while flipping off the person that bumped into me.

"No," I tried telling her. "It was my fault, I'm a magnet for falling over." I joked. Raven's eyes turned to me. I could feel her studying me before she promptly burst into laughter. Wiping tears from her eyes, she slapped her knee and straightened up.

"Okay, so maybe you can't do that. But I'll show you how to crush the powder to make the smoke turn red." I nodded and stood, cradling my broken pride while Raven laughed again. "You got this, Monty?" She asked, while he rolled his eyes in a _duh_ and set to work.

Clarke passed us, a scowl on her face. "Come on, you guys. We don't have time to joke around. We've only got a few hours before dark."

Raven rolled her eyes at me while I shot her a _stop that_ look.

"You're no fun today." Raven commented while Clarke left us.

"She has a point." I told her, pulling my hair over my shoulder while Raven got things ready.

Raven stayed quiet, and I thought about asking about if she'd found out about Clarke and Finn. But, that was really none of my business, and I wasn't about to get involved in petty drama.

I gathered the supplies she asked me to while she continued some small talk. "So there's a rumor going around that you and Bellamy had a thing."

I snorted, although I could feel a blush creep up my cheeks. "And where'd you hear that?" I asked, not sure how to answer.

"Pretty sure it was Bellamy." Raven smirked while handing me a bowl to mix some powders in.

 _Seriously? I've been down here three hours._ I had come here to start over, not dwell on any part of my past. "Well I'm pretty sure he suffered a blow to the head when he landed." I replied easily. "I'm not down here to participate in rumors and secret romances."

Raven seemed content with that answer, staying silent for a few moments. "Why are you down here?" She suddenly asked, passing me some type of rock to grind. "I don't think you ever told me, and I spilled my guts to you a long time ago." I pursed my lips, she _had_ told me about the boy who saved her, and how she would do anything to be with him again.

I shrugged, knowing exactly why I had forced Abby to let me come, but unwilling to share it. "I have a lot of people down here that I care about. I want to protect them." I told her, trying to stay busy with the work.

She regarded me with furrowed brows. "I don't know if I believe that." She told me, setting a hand on either side of the bowl to check the consistency.

"Well that's all you're getting." I told her firmly. She grinned up at me.

"Come on, we've got a flare to assemble." I grinned back at her, grabbing the few bowls of colored powder to follow her out.

* * *

A few hours later, and we were watching the flares being lit. The sparks they emitted were an almost purple color, and when they shot up cheers arose from the crowd behind me. I stood off to the side, my gaze fixed on them. Would the Ark be able to see it from up there? And if they could, would they stop the Culling in time? The flares might be our only hope at communication with the Ark. If the radio wasn't salvageable, what would we do next? Search for a new one? Would we give up, leaving everyone on the Ark stuck?

Truthfully, I was down here because I'd had a lapse in judgement. My eyes fell to Bellamy, who was standing next to Clarke. When I evaluated Bellamy, he'd pleaded with me to save his sister. He'd asked me to do anything. But since I was evaluating him, they'd assigned the trainee under me to Octavia Blake. I could have no influence over her decision, just as she could have no influence over mine. I knew that Octavia was going to be floated, she'd be made an example to the rest of the Ark for breaking one of our most important rules. But Bellamy, on the other hand, I could plead that he'd been under the influence of his mother. And I did. I knew that as soon as he got the chance, he'd try to see her. I hoped that he would stay quiet and under the radar so that maybe, eventually, I could help him see her. When I'd heard that it was him who'd shot Chancellor Jaha, I knew eyes would be turned to me.

And since then, I'd been terrified. Would they Council choose to float me for a wrong decision? It was my fault he wasn't floated in the first place. Two years ago, my superior was floated because one of his clients had committed treason. They'd floated him for association. Because I was associated with Bellamy, I knew the Council would have me under close guard in case they decided to float me. And so I'd chosen to run. Under the guise of wanting to help these prisoners, I'd run from the consequences of my decisions.

"Got something on your mind, Doc?" Bellamy stood in front of me, and I realized I'd been staring at him while my thoughts wandered.

I shook my head, looking up to the sky. "Nothing, Bellamy." I answered, sparing him a glance. His hair was loose, the longer pieces falling onto his forehead, and he already looked tanner than he'd been on the Ark. As much as I hated to admit it, I was still angry with him. All of this could have been avoided if he had just left the radio alone.

Bellamy remained in front of me. I thought of asking him why he'd been telling people we'd had a thing together. It was barely even a thing, honestly. "You're sunburnt." He commented, pointing his finger at my cheeks. I smacked his hand away from my face lightly and turned to find a place to sleep. I didn't think that it was actually sun burn.

Even as I walked away from the majority of the crowd, I could hear Bellamy right behind me.

"Do you need something?" I asked as nicely as I could manage. I'd been nursing a headache for the past few hours, and although I wanted to find a place to wash up, I wasn't willing to stand naked in the dark for any amount of time.

His hand grabbed my wrist and began leading me in a different direction, towards the drop ship they'd landed in. At the last minute he'd turned and lead me into arguably the largest tent.

When we were inside of it, I thought about walking right back out. I didn't know if this was some sort of a booty call, but I just wanted to sleep. Inside of me, though, my stomach fluttered at the thought of kissing Bellamy again. _I'm not here for that,_ I reminded myself, crossing my arms over my chest.

He'd lit a few makeshift torches while I stood at the entrance awkwardly, unsure of what he'd brought me here for. There were several makeshift tables, a makeshift bed on the floor, with several homemade weapons scattered about.

"Here, you can wash your face and hands. He gestured to a bucket of clean water, passing me a damp rag. I twisted it in my hands uncertainly for a moment before he gestured more firmly to the water, and I decided to suck it up and wash my face.

He waited until I was washing my face to take his jacket off and recline on the bed.

"So why are you here?" He asked, and I didn't turn from my spot or answer. "Was it because you missed me?" He joked, and I could hear the grin in his voice. I rolled my eyes, not answering again. I heard a creak from the makeshift bed letting me know he'd stood up, and then the slow thud of his boots against the ground. "It's okay if you want to stay with me tonight." He whispered, and his hands came to rest on the top of my arms. I again, said nothing. It would be easy to just give in and sleep with him tonight. The thought was definitely appealing. One of his hands brushed the hair from my neck, and his lips quickly replaced his fingertips, ghosting down my exposed neck.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, both allowing him more access and letting me rest my head against his shoulder. His teeth grazed the skin and I let out a breath I'd been holding. The thought of sleeping with Bellamy flashed across my mind. The images of his hands gripping my hips and pulling me down onto him, me scratching his back and biting his neck, groans escaping from his mouth burned into my mind. Bellamy consumed my thoughts.

One of his hands slid from my shoulder to my waist, gently spinning me so that I was pressed against the makeshift table. He'd stopped kissing my neck and was staring straight into my eyes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't absolutely tempted. The freckles across his nose and cheeks, the way the fire from the torches cast shadows across his face, the hand on my waist pressing me into his hips, all of it was sending signals to my brain to say _yes, yes, yes._

And then I thought of the Ark. Was he hiding out in his tent because he was scared the Ark wouldn't see the flares and kill 300 people? Or was he just trying to get laid? While my body was telling me that a half hour with him wouldn't kill me, my brain was telling me that it wasn't a good idea. If it weren't for Bellamy, I'd still be up on the Ark. Would I be one the 300 possibly dying tonight? Just like that, the moment was ruined for me.

"I didn't come here for you." I breathlessly whispered, breaking the hold on my waist and walking towards the entrance of his tent. He said nothing as I turned back to look at him, his t shirt fitting him like it was made for him. He was the absolute picture of desire right now. It was tempting me to stalk back to him and thread my fingers through his hair, kissing him until I was out of breath, but I held my ground. If I wanted to be taken seriously here, I couldn't- _wouldn't_ sleep with the dubbed leaders.

"I give you a week before you come crawling back, _begging_ me to fuck you." Bellamy shot at me, and I could see the anger flash across his eyes. Flashes of the time I'd seen him after his mother was floated flooded my brain, and I resolved that I would not allow him to get under my skin.

I didn't say anything as I turned and walked out of the tent, now angrier than before. _Please._ Maybe the girls down here didn't have enough self control to not sleep with an attractive asshole, but I sure as hell did. I came here to get away from the decision of letting Bellamy live, and now I'd be forced to look at him everyday as a mistake I'd made, taunting me. It was like having my insecurities and cowardice shown off in front of me.

Dread seeped through me at the realization that I had some emotional issues to work through.

The tired that had been edging in since we'd gotten back to camp had diminished. I walked aimlessly through the crowd, wanting to find somewhere to relax, when I felt a hand curl around my wrist. I turned to see Clarke, her eyes weary. I raised one side of my lips in a smile, and without saying anything she guided me through the maze of similar looking tents.

At last, she pulled me into one of the tents near the center, around one of the many fires. Her tent was small, maybe just big enough for one person, two if they were sharing a sleeping bag.

We sat at the opening of her tent and left it open to see out.

"How are you doing, Ellen?" Clarke asked me, twiddling with a piece of grass.

I shrugged, not wanting to be a burden. On the inside, I felt tightly wound up, anxious about so many things. It was no doubt that by now the Council would have realized I'd been missing, if they hadn't realized it instantly. Would they think of me as a coward? Or maybe they wouldn't connect that I'd left because I had been wrong about Bellamy. Maybe they believed I just genuinely cared about the people they'd sent down to Earth, and wanted to be here to protect them. Not only that, but now that me and Raven had made it down to Earth, did I feel at blame for the radio going missing in the first place? I had woken up first. I could clearly remember the automatic message of Abby's voice playing as I struggled out of my restraints. I should have just picked it up then. I felt partially to blame because I could have definitely saved those people, if only I'd concentrated harder. I should have woken up when Bellamy took it from our ship. I wouldn't be worried over the 300 people possibly dying tonight if only I had focused on answering the radio.

I looked up at Clarke, who had been waiting for my answer, clearly reading the anguish in my features as I thought on what to say. "I'm just anxious." I finally told her, knowing that if I had been looking on this from the outside, I would have told myself that it was easier to share burdens than to harbor them yourself. Clarkes shoulders sunk down at my answer.

"I understand how you feel." She replied, her voice thick with emotional pain. I set my hand on top of hers, giving it a quick squeeze in support.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, looking up at the sky for any sign of the Culling. She nodded without looking at me, and I grabbed my own piece of grass to occupy my hands. "What happened down here? I mean, from the start?"

She sucked in a deep breath, taking a moment to gather her words.

"When we first got here, it was absolute chaos." She confessed, barely glancing up at me. "Bellamy was convincing everyone we can do _whatever the hell we want,_ and no one wanted to go to Mount Weather for supplies." I nodded, watching Clarke's face as she told me what had happened. She told me how she'd managed to get a group of people to go to Mount Weather, how Octavia had been bitten by some giant snake, how Jasper had been speared by the Grounders and they'd had to go back and rescue him. She told me about the little girl, Charlotte, that killed Wells because Bellamy had told her to slay her demons, and how they'd strung John Murphy up when they found his knife near Wells' severed fingers. Clarke's eyes had filled with unshed tears and I'd held her against my chest as she cried for probably the first time since she got to Earth. When she finally managed to gather herself back up, I'd braided her hair for her. She told me how Murphy had gathered a man hunt for Charlotte and they'd been trying to keep him from killing her, only for her to jump off a cliff to stop everyone from getting hurt. That night, which had been just last night, they had outlined the rules for each other, finally providing some stability for everyone. "And then you guys came down." She finished, turning back to face me. I felt sick to my stomach, honestly. They'd been through so much in just the past few days. My struggles on the Ark seemed so insignificant compared to what they'd been going through. I felt selfish for coming to Earth to escape punishment. "You're easy to talk to." Clarke told me, and turned back up to look at the sky.

"That's why I'm Head Counselor." I grinned, knowing that was why I was good for the job.

"Can I tell you something?" She asked, and I nodded, plucking apart the piece of grass I'd been playing with. "Wells told me that he wasn't the one who told Jaha about my dad. He was just letting me believe that to protect me from hating my mother." She paused, running her finger along the lining of the tent. "It's my mother's fault that my dad is dead."

Although surprised, I kept my face impassive. I knew Abby would have some reason for why she did what she did, but I didn't know why. I'd also known that Jake Griffin had been floated for treason, and that was why Clarke was in the Sky Box, but I hadn't known the specifics of her arrest. That was exactly when I'd begun as Head Counselor. Jake Griffin was the reason my superior was floated.

Still, I knew Clarke shouldn't be angry with something her mother had done to try and protect them. "You know," I finally began glancing up at the sky to once again check for any sign of the Culling. "What Raven said was true, it's because of your mom that we got down here." I told Clarke. She looked from the sky to me, wanting a further explanation. "She believed that everyone was taking off their bracelets, instead of dying. She wanted to save the rest of the Ark." Clarke had a small smile on her face, looking towards the embers of the fire we were sitting in front of. "Even if the flares don't work, it's only a matter of time before we get the radio working, and soon after, the rest of the Ark will come down. And that's because of your mom." I squeezed Clarke's knee.

"But still, I just don't understand how she could betray my father like that. She let me hate my best friend for _years._ Isn't that selfish?" Clarke pleaded, needing confirmation.

I shrugged. "I can't answer for her reasoning, Clarke." Clarke sighed, obviously frustrated. "It's okay to be angry, but don't let your anger cloud your judgement." I tried, giving her leg another squeeze. She nodded, and we both looked up to the sky, enjoying the now comfortable silence.

I felt better now, knowing what had happened here on Earth. I knew we would still be overcome with trials on Earth, and I could only hope that I was as strong as the rest of the people here.

* * *

 **AN: That's a wrap for chapter 2! A bit shorter than the last chapter, but I've been working double the past few days. Review and follow! I appreciate all the feedback that I get.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Shoutout to DamonSalvatoreLover for the review!**

* * *

"You're up?" Bellamy had made his way to our tent during a search for something in the campground. Clarke looked at me before she stood up, and I was surprised when she offered me a hand, helping me to stand. I stretched my arms above my head and looked up towards the sky.

"Yeah. Knowing there might be hundreds of people dying on the Ark makes it pretty hard to sleep." Clarke told him harshly. I pursed my lips, silently agreeing with her.

Bellamy's lips pursed and looked away. I could tell he was tired of that accusation. "Raven's flares will work."

"Her radio would've worked better." Clarke replied. The air grew tense, and I said nothing while they stared each other down.

Finally, Bellamy broke the silence. "Have you seen Octavia?"

"No." Clarke replied, shaking her head. Bellamy looked to me and I shrugged, not having met Octavia yet. "It's Octavia, though." Clarke said lightly. "She's probably off chasing butterflies-"

"Clarke, I've checked the whole camp. She's not here." I could hear the desperation in his voice, and Clarke looked to me for a moment.

"We'll help you find her." I finally said for the both of us, looking back to Bellamy.

"Let's check again." Clarke instructed, beginning to walk away from our tent. "You go to the drop ship and check there, I'll check along the wall, and you check the rest of the tents." She told Bellamy and I, walking swiftly.

"Thank you." Bellamy told her sincerely.

"Don't thank me. I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for Octavia." I blinked in surprise at Clarke's statement. I knew she was mad at Bellamy, but that felt a bit uncalled for. Bellamy looked at me as if I could make her take it back, but I shrugged. They needed to work this out themselves.

Within the hour, I was pretty sure everyone knew my face, and probably thought I had some weird obsession with Octavia. Since I didn't know what she looked like, I'd had to ask every person if they knew where Octavia was.

While most people were annoyed, I'd gotten to see some of the people that I'd been counseling back on the Ark. Being teenagers, most could care less about my presence, but a few were happy to see me.

After getting back with Bellamy and Clarke, he'd decided that he was going to gather a search party. I agreed. If she was lost outside of the camp, the sooner we found her, the better.

"Everyone gather up and grab a weapon." Bellamy demanded, tossing down a bag of makeshift weapons. Most were being held together by cord or tape, and I wondered if they'd made use of these weapons yet. I didn't pick any up, unwilling to partake in any violent manners they thought they'd need to use.

"Choosing not to arm yourself, Doc?" Bellamy asked, nudging my arm.

I rolled my eyes at his childishness. "It's Ellen." I told him firmly, watching as the rest of the campers grabbed what they could. "And no." I crossed my arms over my chest. Hopefully none of them would actually have to use these.

"Suit yourself." Bellamy commented, when Jasper reached between Bellamy and Clarke to pick up a weapon.

Clarke set a hand on his arm to stop him. "Jasper, you don't have to do this. You haven't left camp since we brought you back."

Jasper's hair was unruly, and there was a cut under his eye. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. He made eye contact with me, but his body language was a lot more withdrawn, and I could tell he was anxious.

Then again, all of us were anxious.

"Clarke, I need to do this." He practically whispered, although it sounded a lot less sure than he made it out to be.

"I don't think that's a good-" I began, thinking that him being so wound up would no doubt end up bad.

"We need all the people we can get." Bellamy interrupted, setting a hand on my elbow. I turned over my shoulder to look at him. The arm not holding my elbow was drawn across his chest, whether from the chill in the air or nerves, I couldn't tell.

I pursed my lips but said nothing, choosing to walk away instead of argue. I was surprised when I heard footsteps following me, and I glanced to see Jasper close on my heels. I stopped on the edge of the crowd.

"Did you need something, Jasper?" I asked, setting a hand lightly on his arm.

"I just-" He sighed and looked away, still looking as though he was fighting a war inside his head. "Do you think I can do it?"

"Do what?"

"Go outside the walls."

I bit my lip and nodded, giving his arm a squeeze before crossing mine over my chest. "I think that you have built up a fear of something, like a fear of the dark." I replied, once again taking the place of psychologist. "I can't say you won't get hurt outside these walls, but the longer you put going outside off, the harder it will be." He nodded, and the group around us began to move, heading towards the entrance.

As we walked, I felt my nerves growing. This would be my first time going out of the walls in the dark, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared too. But I had to be brave. For the sake of the people around me, I had to be strong.

The people around me began whispering and pointing up to the sky, and before even looking I knew what it was.

There were several streaks of light flashing above us, tiny shooting stars originating from one point in the sky. While it was beautiful, the knowledge of what it was made my stomach clench in sickness.

"They didn't work." Raven whispered behind me. I turned to look back at her, but my eyes searched for Bellamy in the crowd. "They didn't see the flares." Bellamy was a few people over from me, having been leading the group outside the wall.

"A meteor shower tells you that?" He asked, obviously not having connected the dots.

"It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral." Clarke deadpanned, her own gaze falling to Bellamy with disdain in her eyes. "Hundreds of bodies being returned to Earth from the Ark. This is what it looks like from the other side." I swallowed and took a step nearer to Bellamy, ready to diffuse any rash actions. "They didn't get our message." Clarke turned to Raven, and I watched as her face went from shock to anger.

"This is all because of you!" She immediately shoved past Finn and Clarke, heading right for Bellamy. I went to stand in front of him, but he sidestepped me and stood in front.

"I helped you find the radio!" He held a hand out in front of him, ready to push her back.

"Yeah, after you jacked it from my pod and trashed it!" She yelled back, and Finn was holding her back from doing anything stupid.

"Yeah, he knows." Clarke told her, setting a hand on Raven's shoulder. "And now he has to live with it."

It was quiet for a moment, and I chanced another glance up, to see that it almost seemed bigger now, with more light flooding the sky.

"All I know is my sister is out there, and I'm gonna find her." Clarke was looking down at the dying flames, Raven looking like she was ready to kill Bellamy, and Finn was glancing between the two. "You coming or what?" He asked Finn, already turning and walking away. I followed the group as we moved to the wall, my arms crossed over my chest as the chill in the air seeped through my clothes.

"You're with me, Doc." Bellamy called out, waving me over.

I rolled my eyes and made my way through the crowd, not missing the way one of the only other girls, Roma, glared me down.

"It's Ellen." I muttered when I came close enough.

"Sure thing," he told me, throwing an arm around my shoulder as he strode purposefully away from the camp. "Doc." He added after a moment. I shoved him away from me, walking ahead of him.

"Why do I have to stay with you?" I asked, glancing at him over my shoulder.

He stared at me with raised eyebrows. "Because you didn't bring a torch or a weapon?" He replied as though it was obvious.

"I could stick with someone else." I muttered, not straying too far from him, because as much as I didn't want to admit, I couldn't see very far without the light from his torch.

"And who else would you trust with your life?" He asked without looking at me. His eyes were glued to the trees around us, looking for any movement or sign of Octavia.

I looked back at the group with us, scanning over each person. My eyes settled on a tall blonde guy, who I'd met when I was searching for Octavia in the camp. "Him." I told Bellamy, not feeling like being stuck with Bellamy on this whole walk.

I wished I could say it was so I didn't have to deal with his pompous ass, but in all honesty it was because I, too, blamed him for the deaths of the 300 people on the Ark. My stomach turned at the realization, but I vowed not to voice my opinion.

"By all means, relieve me of your presence." He told me, sounding bored. I sighed began to turn around, ready to stalk over to the blonde. "Be a burden to someone else." I heard him remark. I stopped moving, ready to turn back and hit him or yell at him, but I just bit my tongue and walked over to the blonde guy, refusing to give in to Bellamy's egging. He was upset that his sister was missing. That was all.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked, my arms crossed over my chest.

"By all means." He offered, gesturing beside him. I nodded my thanks, ready to walk in silence. "Eleanor, right?" He asked, shooting me a nice smile.

"Ellen, yeah. Whatever's easier." I smiled, stepping carefully around a root. We were already leaving the worn path, straight into the forest.

"I go by Hayes, in case you've forgotten." I exhaled with a laugh, holding my hands up in mock surrender.

"You caught me." I joked, earning a grin from him.

"Ehh, I'll excuse it. You crash landed on Earth today, it's a lot to take in." I nodded, looking at all the trees surrounding us.

"It definitely is." We continued with a bit of small talk, spreading out from the group as we got further into the forest and time passed.

It was obvious to tell that our motivation was diminishing as we got farther and farther from camp, and I wondered if Octavia had been taken, instead of simply lost.

Hope was found once again as someone found something. I saw Bellamy scale the side of a steep hill, declaring it was Octavia's, before he went all the way down. Jasper went down next, followed by Finn. Roma followed after eagerly, and I waited to make sure everyone else had made it down first, leaving just me and Hayes at the top. He gestured for me to go down, and I took the weapon from him so that he'd have a free hand to get down. At the bottom, Finn held out a hand for me to steady myself as the steepest part.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked, no doubt referring to how long we'd been walking so far.

"Just peachy." I replied, waiting for Hayes to join the rest of the group.

Finn snorted, obviously not believing me. "That's a lie if I've ever heard one." I shot him a grin. Finn smiled back at me, not trying to dig deeper. I was grateful.

I was exhausted, I hadn't eaten since lunch, and my feet felt as though I'd been walking for miles. We might have actually travelled that far, but I didn't want to even think about the walk back.

"Finn, I want you up here with me!" Bellamy called out. Finn rolled his eyes, taking a few steps backwards.

"Duty calls." He told me, annoyance seeping from each word. I smiled at him, Hayes joining my side once again. I glanced up to the front and saw Bellamy practically glaring at me as I handed Hayes the weapon so I could carry the torch for a bit. I shot Bellamy a salute, and he quickly averted his eyes, probably embarrassed at being caught.

"Have you gotten onto the bad side of Bellamy Blake already?" Hayes asked.

I shrugged, not feeling like explaining my life to him. "He's just upset his sister is missing." I justified. Hayes nodded and said nothing else, and my mind wandered to what was going on in camp.

I hoped they could get the communications up and running soon. No more people needed to die.

With renewed vigor, we made our way through the forest, even passing over a small creek without stopping. After a while of walking, the people in front suddenly stopped walking. I moved quickly, anxious to see why.

Once I had, I almost regretted coming. There was a tall fence covered with algae, and spaced every few feet there were long spikes, with corpses impaled through their midsection.

"I don't speak grounder. . ." Finn muttered, referring to whoever had made this fence. "But I'm pretty sure this means keep out." Several of the guys in the group began voicing their doubts, saying they were going back to camp.

"Go back if you want." Bellamy called out quietly, and I looked at him. "My sister, my responsibility." He whispered under his breath before stalking in between the spikes. I swallowed, thinking of how much I would rather be sleeping.

"I'd walk into hell to find her." Jasper muttered beside me, walking next.

"Well if she's that worth it, I've got to meet this girl." I joked to Finn, striding between the poles, carefully avoiding looking up at the rotting skeletons.

After a few steps, I looked back to group back up with Hayes, but was surprised when I realized he hadn't followed us in.

Then again, if I wasn't pretending to be brave, I wouldn't have gone in either.

The sun was beginning to rise, and we left our used torches in a pile under some leaves, away from prying eyes. Walking without something in my hands left me apprehensive. At least with the torch, I'd have something to defend myself with. Swallowing my pride, I jogged to catch up to Bellamy, Finn, and Jasper, with Monroe, Roma, and John bringing up the back.

"Did your knight in shining armor chicken out?" Bellamy asked when he noticed me near him.

I glared, but I didn't justify his answer. "That's okay, I'll protect her." Jasper joked, throwing an arm over my shoulder. I grinned and set my hand on top of his, giving it a quick squeeze before he continued walking.

"My hero." I joked, following after him. It was Bellamy's turn to glare, and I grinned at him.

It was just a few minutes of silence after when Finn realized we'd lost the trail.

"Keep looking." Bellamy insisted, looking a few feet farther out. I knew he was getting desperate. All of us were. We had a long trek back home, and I knew there'd be no going without Octavia. Finn shot me a _will you please talk some sense into him_ look, and I glanced at Bellamy. He was studying the area intently, not willing to give up.

I raised my hands in a _what the fuck am I supposed to do_ motion and Finn sighed before rubbing his face. "Wandering around aimlessly isn't the way to find your sister." Finn finally said, stopping in his tracks to look Bellamy in the eye. "We should backtrack-"

"I'm not going back!" Bellamy replied, anger growing in his voice.

"Hey. Where's John?" Roma asked. All of us turned to look where we'd last seen him, at the back of the group.

"I just saw him a second ago." Jasper whispered breathlessly from beside me. I reached out and squeezed his arm in support, knowing that he was beginning to panic.

"Spread out. He couldn't have gotten that far." Bellamy ordered. Jasper and I had begun to take a few steps from the group when I felt something fall behind me. I turned quickly, and my body froze when I saw John laying on the ground. For a second, I was wondering why he'd fallen from the tree and what he'd been doing there, but then I saw the blood on his neck and the deep gash that showed his throat had been slit. My hand covered my mouth in surprise, a small gasp escaping me. Finn and Bellamy ran over, looking down at his body before looking up above us.

"They use the trees." Finn whispered, and I instantly looked up, trying to spot any movement. The bird calls that had been echoing around us suddenly seemed more ominous and foreboding.

"We shouldn't have crossed the boundary." One of the guys that had come, Diggs, stated.

"Now can we go back?" Roma stressed.

"There." Jasper pointed behind me, and I turned to see a man standing across from us. I backed into Jasper, my eyes not leaving the man.

"Another one." Diggs pointed out in the opposite direction.

"We should run." Finn whispered quietly. I nodded, my eyes still on the one directly across from me. We all broke into a sprint, leaving John's body behind. I tried to stay near Jasper, but both of us were more concerned with trying to stay ahead of the grounders than near each other.

I was panting quickly, not used to having to run for so long, and I could feel a cramp in my stomach, but I ignored it, adrenaline coursing through me.

"What are we going to do, they keep herding us off!" Finn called out, making a turn to the right that the rest of us followed.

"Just keep running!" Diggs yelled from behind me.

"I can't keep running much longer!" Jasper called out, and I silently agreed.

"I'm not stopping for him!" Diggs yelled, pushing me to the side in an effort to get ahead. I stumbled and fell into a tree, and when I looked up, I was grateful to see that almost everyone had stopped.

"I'm sick of running anyway." Bellamy told us, giving us a moment to catch our breath. I stood up again, leaning against the tree for support and ignoring the burn in my muscles.

"Diggs? Where are you?" Roma called out, turning and running after the guy who'd left us all behind. I sucked in another breath and began running again, Bellamy just ahead of me this time.

"Wait!" He yelled out, and as I crossed over the top of a hill, I saw Diggs had been impaled, and his eyes staring up at where we were standing. Finn grabbed my hand and tugged me to continue to the bottom of the hill.

"There could be more." Bellamy stated, looking around our immediate area.

"They were leading us here." Jasper realized, also looking around. I swallowed my fear and closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. I had to wait to panic. I had to survive right now. "It's the only direction we could run in." He added, and we made a small circle, looking over each other's shoulders.

"Wait." Finn breathed out, looking behind himself. "Where'd they go?" I looked around too, trying to see through the leafy growth.

"After Roma." Bellamy realized, taking off again. I took in a deep breath and ran again, chasing after Bellamy. We didn't get far when we slowed to a walk, all of us needing a break from the running.

"There she is." Monroe whispered from beside me. "Roma!" She called out as quietly as she could. I looked where she had her eyes trained, towards a thick tree, where you could just see a jacket peeking out of. I took another few steps as Bellamy jogged to reach her. There was something sticking out of the tree, and I realized she was already dead. Bellamy reached out to Roma, but I couldn't see what he was doing, although I saw how pained he looked.

"They're playing with us." Finn realized.

"She only came because of me." Bellamy whispered, his lips pursed as he struggled to accept it.

I was so engrossed in watching Bellamy that I didn't hear the sound of someone approaching me until it was too late. A hand snaked around my ankle, and as I turned to look down at it, it was suddenly jerked out so that I fell on my face. A surprised cry left my lips as I was yanked backwards several feet, my hands scrambling for purchase on the leafy ground. When I stopped being pulled, I rolled onto my back, and time froze when I saw a grounder sneering down at me. His teeth were yellow and black, his face painted in dark brown colors. He had several feathers giving him the appearance of a Native American War chief. One of my ankles was held in his grimy hand, and the other held a knife over his shoulder, aiming down at me. He was so close that I could see his pupils dilate. When his arm started to bring the knife down, I rolled to my right, the knife landing solid in the ground. My foot had come loose from his grip, and I kicked at the closest thing I could, his groin. He bent over in pain, and I kicked my foot at his face, a crunch felt under foot. Both of his hands went to his face, and I froze as his face contorted in anger. His eyes flicked to the knife beside my head, and my body kicked into action before I had time to contemplate what I was doing. One of his hands left his face to reach for the knife, but I was closer, and I pulled it out of the soil from above my head, throwing all my strength into a stab that landed in his neck. I pulled it out and fell back onto my back, the grounder staring at me in surprise for a second as the blood began spurting from his neck. He fell forwards, and I was so shocked that when he fell on top of me, I didn't move for a second.

And then, I was scrambling, my feet and arms kicking and pushing as I frantically tried to get away from it. And then someone's arms wrapped around my torso and pulled me to my feet and back several yards, and I was terrified for a moment that it was another grounder.

"It's okay, it's okay!" The person kept repeating desperately as I struggled, lost in my adrenaline. They let go of my waist but spun me around so I could see who it was. I had expected it to be Bellamy, but was surprised to see it had been Finn. I couldn't say anything as I panted, reaching out to grab onto fistfuls of his jacket. The knife that I'd stabbed the grounder with was still in my hand, and I dropped it in disgust, Finn wrapping both of his arms around my body to calm me down.

All that was running through my head was a steady stream of _oh my god, oh my god, oh my god._

"They can kill us anytime they want." Finn muttered, looking over me. I clung to his shirt like it was a life jacket, and I suddenly realized I was shaking like a leaf.

"If they want to kill us. . ." Jasper muttered, and I glanced over to him. "Then they should GET IT OVER WITH!" He suddenly started screaming, and I realized he'd snapped, his anxiety breaking him. "COME ON!" He yelled again, and I let go of Finn as he rushed to Jasper, trying to shut him up. Bellamy took Finn's place by my side, but I didn't reach out for him as he grabbed my shoulder, trying to bring me closer to him. A glance in any direction and I saw more grounders racing towards us.

Jasper had stopped screaming, and all of us formed a circle, desperately trying to think of a solution.

A horn suddenly pierced through the air, and the grounders stopped on the spot, turning and looking around before running back the way they came, leaving us to stand in the middle of the small clearing wondering what the hell just happened.

"They're leaving." Bellamy whispered in shock. The horn sounded again, and even the grounder nearest us turn and ran.

"That horn." Jasper breathed out, his back pressed against my side. "What does it mean?"

"Acid fog." Finn replied.

"Acid what?" I finally stuttered out, and my hand reached up without thinking to grasp Bellamy's jacket.

"We have to run." Monroe commented, looking around.

"There's no time." Finn told her, pulling out what looked like a parachute.

Just a few seconds later and all five of us were squeezed underneath it, hearts pounding and still trying to catch our breath.

"What is acid fog?" I demanded, stuck between Finn and Bellamy.

"Exactly what it sounds like, Doc." Bellamy muttered, and I shoved him with my shoulder.

Rolling his eyes, Finn nudged me. "It's this yellow fog that burns any flesh it touches, when the horn sounds it means someone spotted it coming."

"And we can hide under a parachute?" I asked, my hands pressing into the parachute underneath us.

"Well, this is currently an untested theory."

"Great." Jasper commented. "How long do we have to wait?"

"We'll find out." Finn told him.

There was just a beat of silence before Bellamy suddenly got to his knees. "No we won't." He peeked out from the mouth of the parachute. "There's no fog." I sat up to my knees as Finn poked his head out, too, before pulling it completely from over us. "Maybe it was a false alarm." We began standing to our feet, looking around the forest. A sudden movement from the corner of my eye drew my attention, just as Bellamy frantically muttered they're coming back.

All of us looked around further, trying to spot anymore. "I think he's alone." Jasper whispered after a second. I swallowed my fear and stood up straighter, looking down to see the knife I'd used just a few feet away.

"Now can we run?" Monroe asked, already in a stance to run.

"He doesn't see us." Bellamy whispered. "I'm going after him."

"And what? Kill him?" Finn asked, picking up the knife and pressing it into my palm. I gripped it tightly, trying not to think about what I'd just done with it.

"No. Catch him." Bellamy whispered as the man disappeared behind a tree. "Make him tell me where Octavia is. And then kill him." Bellamy began stalking away from us, leaving us in the small clearing.

"How do we know he's not leading us to another trap?" Jasper asked while Finn quickly rolled up the parachute.

"We don't." I nodded my head at Finn's reply, helping him stuff it in his backpack before we set off after Bellamy and the grounder.

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 **AN: Another nice, long chapter down! Originally the chapter was almost twice this long, but I cut it in half so it wouldn't be too long. Ellen is getting ready to meet Lincoln! I hope you can understand that she is a huge pacifist, and killing the grounder shocked her. She hasn't had the time to process it yet, but you'll be seeing that more in the next chapter. Don't forget to review and follow!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks again for the reviews and follows!**

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We walked at a steady pace, staying quiet and just far enough away that we could see where the grounder be heading next. The grounder lifted a cover off the ground and crawled down, and we waited a few seconds before following. Bellamy, of course, went down first, followed by Finn, then me, and then Jasper. Monroe was about to follow us down when Bellamy called back to her to keep watch. She bent down near the entrance, staying hidden from above but still able to look around.

It was practically a tiny crevice in the rocks, just big enough to walk through, with very little light filtering in from the top. I followed Finn into the bigger room where we saw Bellamy and a girl embracing. _This must be Octavia,_ I thought. Which meant we could _finally_ go home. In the center of the room was the grounder we'd been following, unconscious on the floor.

"It's okay, you're okay." Bellamy whispered, holding Octavia close.

"How did you find me?" She breathed out, breaking away from Bellamy and stepping over the grounder to Jasper.

"Followed him," he told her proudly, pointing his thumb down at the unconscious grounder.

She pulled away from Jasper, leaving an arm around his shoulder and looked at me. I couldn't fight the grin on my face, glad that we'd found her.

"I'm Ellen." I told her, holding out a hand for her to shake. She took it quickly, shaking it enthusiastically.

"Octavia." She told me, before looking down at the grounder. "We should go. Now. Before he wakes up." She insisted, pushing Jasper towards the entrance.

"He's not going to wake up." Bellamy told us calmly, moving to my side and holding his hand out. I realized he was asking for my knife, and I looked at it for a second in realization as Octavia started protesting.

I shook my head no, moving it behind my back. There'd been enough killing today. No one else has to suffer.

"They started this." Bellamy insisted, making eye contact with me. I could see the anger flash in his eyes as he realized I wouldn't make it easy for him. He turned around and grabbed a spear that had been laying against the wall. "Finn, move." He demanded. Octavia was at Bellamy's shoulder, trying to stop him, while Finn was bent down next to the grounder, looking at something intently.

All of us were so focused on that, that when the grounder suddenly sprang into action, all of us jumped backwards. Finn fell over beside me, and I saw the handle of a knife poking out from between his rib cage. Octavia instantly leaned towards him, her hands wrapping around the knife handle, but I jumped forwards.

"Leave it." I warned, pulling her hands away. "He'll bleed out if we move it now." I told her, hearing the commotion behind me but not turning around. I glanced at Finn's face, who was looking down at his chest in shock, and I placed a hand on his cheek, urging him to look away. He looked up at my face for a second before he looked behind me. I looked back just in time to see the grounder standing over Bellamy, the edge of the spear pressed into his throat, Bellamy trying to keep it from piercing his skin. I heard Octavia screaming beside me, but I couldn't understand what she said. I couldn't even look away from Bellamy using all his strength to keep it from killing him. My heart was suddenly in my throat, and I couldn't even take a breath.

It was one thing to stumble upon the aftermath of someone dying, and a completely other thing to be forced into the situation of killing someone, but to see someone who I cared even a tiny amount about on the receiving end?

Jasper suddenly swung an iron stick at the back of the grounder's head, knocking him out. I sucked in a breath and turned back to Finn, relief flooding through me. I snapped back into reality. Had I really just froze? Even when my own life was on the line I'd jumped into action. Jasper's hand was suddenly wrapped around the knife in Finn's chest.

I knocked his hand away, making Finn wince. "Sorry, bud." I told him quietly. He wheezed out a laugh, and I told Jasper not to move the knife while I turned to Bellamy, who was now on his hands and knees. "We need to go." I told him firmly. He looked over at me. His eyes were still wide with shock, but as he looked me over they hardened.

I stood from beside Finn and moved over to Bellamy. "Are you okay?" It was a stupid question. I knew he wasn't, but it seemed the only appropriate one. He nodded, but didn't say anything. I wanted to check him over, but I knew that there was no time for it. "We need to get out of here before the other grounders realize there was no fog and come hunting us down." He pressed his mouth in a firm line, and we began to maneuver Finn out of there. Once up on the ground, Finn tried walking with our arms wrapped under him, but he collapsed forward, and as Bellamy straightened him up, we realized he'd passed out. Without wasting any time, he'd swept Finn up in his arms and began jogging in the direction that we hoped was a way back to camp.

We didn't encounter any more grounders, which all of us were thankful for, but it took us probably two or three hours to make a straight shot to camp. As soon as it was in sight, I sprinted for the entrance, screaming for Clarke.

She broke through a crowd that had gathered as I made it inside of the gate. "What? I'm here. What?"

"It's Finn." I panted out, pointing back to the entrance, where Bellamy was carrying Finn in.

"Oh my god." Clarke rushed over to Finn, her fingers pressing into his neck to check for a pulse.

"I wanted to take the knife out but Ellen wouldn't let me." Jasper told her, looking as though he was in shock from the whole ordeal. To be honest, I felt as though I were too.

"No, that was a good call." She muttered, gesturing someone over to get Finn from Bellamy. I stood off to the side, the adrenaline finally leaving me as things calmed down.

The crowd that had gathered when I had been screaming for Clarke had begun whispering and pointing. I realized some were pointing at me, and I looked down to see that I was still holding the knife. Disgust ran through me. I wanted to get away from prying eyes. With Finn being taken to the dropship, the gate was left open, and I pushed past a few people in my way to get outside, where there were only a few people milling about.

When I'd made it a few feet from the entrance, I stopped, looking closer at the knife. There was blood dried along the blade, which was about 5 inches long and an inch in diameter. The handle was made out of leather, with a few pieces of cord wrapped around it, connected to several feathers with some kind of talisman dangling between it. I ran my finger over the tiny talisman, trying to understand what it was.

The hanging feathers were black, I realized the talisman was a bird. More specifically, a raven. Ravens symbolized death. It hit me then that the feathers on the blade were probably a count of how many people had been killed by this blade. My stomach churned. I couldn't keep this blade. Just the sight of it reminded me of the grounder who it belonged to. Without contemplating, I used my right arm to launch it into the forest, far away from me. The feathers sailed behind the heavy blade, and I felt a tiny bit of relief surge through me when it thunked out of my sight. The grounder flashed through my mind again, and bile rose up my throat. Before I could stop it, I bent over and threw up what little I'd eaten today. Grateful that Clarke had forced me to carry water around, I used the remaining bit of it to rinse the taste out of my mouth.

This was what the 100 had to deal with. People trying to attack them, in a kill or be killed scenario. Fear at what lurks just behind the wall. Worry for the other campers straying too far. Helplessness at not being sure what to do to make it safe. Do we fight the grounders, risking being slaughtered? Do we just stake our ground and pray that no one comes after us?

"Ellen!" Someone shouted from behind me. I spun to see Bellamy standing at the entrance, half leaning out. "Get in here!" He yelled, obviously not caring for whatever internal conversation I'd been having. I sighed and began walking over, stopping just a few feet from Bellamy. His face was covered in sweat, but he seemed agitated more than anything.

I suddenly realized why the 100 had been making sex a much more open experience. Down here, there was literally no way to guess if you'd make it through the next day. The urge to be with someone, to feel something other than fear overtakes you. It wasn't just a passing want, it was a consuming _need_ to be close with someone.

I'd almost died today. Hell, I'd almost died twice in one day, if you count hurtling to Earth yesterday. I _wanted_ the tight ball of nerves that I'd been carrying around to be relieved, if only for a few blissful minutes.

Standing in front of Bellamy, I realized he was the only age appropriate guy down here for me. I mean, I'm 22. The next oldest guy after Bellamy was at least just turning 18. At this point, I didn't even care about Bellamy's little taunt last night. I didn't care about swallowing my pride. I just needed to relax, at least enough to sleep a few hours.

"Come on." He gestured me to come inside the gate, and I obliged, still lost in my own thoughts. "There's a storm coming." He told me, looking at the sky. I stopped beside him, glancing up to the sky to see the clouds a light gray, churning quickly. It was still so odd to see the clouds above. On the Ark there were no clouds to look at.

He shut the gate and tied it to the next pole over, and began walking away from me. I took my chances, following him into the maze of tents. He spun around just outside of his tent, seeming to realize for the first time I was following him.

"What do you want?" He practically hissed, towering over me. I said nothing, but I took hold of one of his hands and pulled him into his tent, glad that it was empty.

I turned around when I was in the center of his tent, facing him once again. I wasn't nervous. It wasn't my first time having sex. Even on the Ark, it was a common occurrence. When women reached puberty, you would get an IUD inserted to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Once you were married and ready to have your one kid, they would take it out and then reinsert it after you gave birth to prevent anymore unwanted pregnancies.

"What do you want?" Bellamy repeated, although this time it was a lot quieter, and he was close enough that I could see each of his freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks.

"I want you to make me feel something other than _this."_ I answered, bringing a hand up to his cheek. He stared into my eyes, as if searching to see if felt a different way about this than I was letting on. " _Please._ " I begged, my other hand coming to his shoulder. I stroked my thumb over his jaw line, and it was as if that was all the encouragement he needed. One of his hands snaked around my waist, the other running over my shoulder before he slid it into my hair, his nails lightly raking the back of my neck.

He still hadn't kissed me, but his eyes burned into mine, daring me to back out as he tightened his grip around me. I was several inches shorter than him, forcing me to look up at him. I traced along his jaw line for a moment, before my hand ran down his neck and then into his hair, threading into the soft hair. His bangs dipped over his forehead, and when I glanced down to his lips, he suddenly leaned forward, pressing them into mine.

I tightened my hold in his hair, his lips gliding across mine, and his hands spreading across the small of my back. He pulled away for a moment, and his eyes burned into mine.

I pushed him away from me so I could yank my jacket off my shoulders. He copied me, and I barely gave him time to drop it on the floor before I was back at him, more rushed than before. I tugged at the hem of his shirt, my hands racing up his back as he pulled it off, breaking apart just long enough for him to pull it over his head. This time, his own hands grabbed at the green shirt I'd been wearing, wasting no time to pull it up and over my head. We stumbled around, trying to get our shoes and pants off as quickly as we could without breaking contact. When we were finally left in our underclothes, our rush slowed down just enough to enjoy it. His hands spread over my skin, warming everywhere they slid. I scratched and pulled at his shoulders, practically begging him to stay down with me.

His hands slid down to the back of my thighs, and then he was scooping me up. I stopped for just a second, pulling back for a moment while he pushed me on top of a makeshift table. We were practically even, our eyes scanning over each others faces. I finally dipped my head to his neck, pressing kisses over the column of his shoulder before making my way up to just under his jaw. I bit lightly, and he was suddenly in action again, grasping the area under my knees and pulling our hips together. I finally felt him, erect under his boxers. I pushed my hips into his, sucking on the spot I'd been nibbling at. He groaned and rolled his head to one side, giving me more space to work while his hands ran over my thighs, my chest, stopping for a moment to unhook my bra before sliding around to my chest. His fingers suddenly pinched my nipple, pulling lightly toward him. I moaned against his neck, our hips pushing into each other. He, too, groaned. His hands left my chest, and then he was pulling my panties off and down my legs, dropping to his knees under me.

"No, Bellamy." I pleaded, as he kissed the inside of my knee. "I don't want to wait." I whispered. He looked up at me from between my legs, and for a second I regretted what I said, the sight of him turning me on more than I'd expected. But Bellamy stood back up, standing between my legs. One of his hands knotted into my hair, forcing me to look up at him. One of my hands was bracing against the table, but with my free hand I reached for his hips, helping him tug his boxers down. When he finally stepped out of them, I wanted to look down, but Bellamy's hand in my hair forced me to look at his eyes. I felt him pressing against my entrance, teasing me. I straightened my back and scooted as forward as I could, practically begging him to get it over with. With my free hand, I ran my hand up his stomach and to his neck, pulling him down to kiss me again. When our lips slammed into each other, he pushed in. His free hand reached forward to my hip, pulling me onto him. I moaned and tilted my head back, and his mouth began attacking my neck, biting and sucking as he began pulling out, giving me just a second before he pushed back in.

Moans fell from my lips, the feeling of him filling me making me forget everything that had happened today. I just focused on him, on Bellamy biting my neck and his hand raking down my back.

After a few thrusts, he slipped out, and Bellamy lifted me from my thighs to carry me to the bed, throwing me onto it. I backed up with my elbows, giving me a second to look him over. His entire body was practically shining with the beginning of sweat, his shoulders broad. His body was very fit, and while I knew that being on Earth would be a good workout, it did his body very well. He was well endowed, but I wasn't particularly worried about his size. He crawled onto the bed, covering my body with his own. One of his hands slid up my leg, gently setting it on the crook of his hip as he settled on top of me. We kept eye contact this time as he slid in, his lips parting when he was fully inside, pushing his hips hard against mine. My head fell back onto the pillow, a moan escaping me when he began thrusting at a faster pace. One of my hands scratched up and down his back while the other held tightly to his shoulder.

"Fuck, Bellamy." I whispered when he picked up his pace. He groaned and let his forehead drop to my shoulder. I ran a hand through his hair, tugging lightly to get him to lift his head up. When I could see his face again, I kissed him with as much as force as I could muster, our tongues sliding against each other. The hand he'd been using to hold up my leg suddenly dipped between our bodies, brushing against my clit. I moaned into his mouth, and he bit down on my lip, rubbing it just a little bit harder. My moans became more frequent, and Bellamy dropped his head back into my shoulder as I felt the little balloon of tension building inside me. My moans turned into pleads, begging him to keep going and not to stop. He moved harder against me, not relenting, and my orgasm washed over me, pushing my hips into his as hard as I could.

He groaned as I tensed underneath him before my body practically melting under his touch. He thrusted harder for just a second, and then he was pressing his hips hard into mine, my name spilling from his lips like he didn't even realize he was saying it. " _Ellen,"_ another groan and thrust into me, letting me know he'd finished. " _Ellen."_ He moaned out, his forehead pressing into my neck as he slowed. "Oh my god, _Ellen."_ He groaned again, pushing hard into me one last time. I let one of my hands stray to his hair, brushing through it while the other rubbed his back soothingly, finally feeling relaxed. One of his hands was thrown over my stomach, the other curled against his side. I didn't move, just wanting to relish in the closeness for a moment.

At some point, I'd fallen asleep. I awoke to the feeling of Bellamy tracing shapes on my lower back, having rolled onto my stomach.

I brought a hand up to rub my eyes, peeking at Bellamy from underneath my hair.

"How long have I been asleep?" Bellamy slid his fingers over my hips, tracing the line of my body.

"Not long." He answered. His hair was still a mess, but he didn't seem as agitated as he had beforehand.

I gave him a small smile and reached my own hand out to brush his bangs out of his eyes. He closed his eyes for a moment, and I brushed my fingers down the side of his face. His features were relaxed, and I wondered for a moment if the only time he was relaxed was when he was sleeping.

"You know, you didn't even last a full twelve hours." He opened his eyes and smirked at me, and my mouth dropped open in mock annoyance. I pushed him away from me and rolled to the edge of the bed, reaching to grab my clothes.

I didn't react to his jab, but I felt him shift on the bed behind me. One of his arms reached around my stomach, pulling me back into him, while the other pushed the clothes I'd been gathering back to the floor. His lips began kissing my neck, and I relished in his warmth for a moment before I turned to face him.

He gave me a small smile, and when my hand brushed against his pelvis, I felt how hard he already was. Every intention I'd had of leaving suddenly dissipated, and I found myself crawling on top of him while he smirked at my reaction.

This time, it was much more languid, filled with sighs and slow thrusts, Bellamy much more relaxed as we simply reveled in each other's presence. His hands brushed over my body, exploring instead of simply rushing to finish.

I focused on the way his lips fell open when he reached particularly deep, the way he groaned when I bit his neck and shoulders, and how he seemed to love when I ran my hands through his hair, occasionally tugging his lips back to mine.

He finished when he'd rolled me on to my stomach, pushing into me from behind, his hand reaching around to finish me off first. I'd sat up, freeing his hand from holding himself up, and brought his fingers to my lips, kissing and sucking his fingers, moaning into him when I'd finally climaxed. He'd not lasted much longer, my hand reaching back to his neck and turning my head to bite at his neck. We'd eased back onto the sheets, our legs tangled in the sheets while I played with his hair, his head resting on my chest.

His breaths came steadily, and I realized that he'd fallen asleep. I stopped playing with his hair, staring up at the ceiling. I could easily sleep right now. I mean, I was warm, comfortable, and definitely exhausted. But as Bellamy had said, there was a storm coming.

I couldn't stop thinking of everything that I wanted to check. The safest place to be would be in the drop ship, seeing as that was the only sturdy building we had. We'd need to move everyone in there. How long would we be holed up in there? How much food and water would we need? Would the drop ship hold all of us comfortably? It would have to.

We could also change some of the tents to gather rain water so that we'd have plenty when the storm was over. We could send a few people to scavenge for some more berries now, before the storm.

"Stop." Bellamy ordered. I glanced down at him, briefly wondering if he was talking in his sleep. As an answer, his foot suddenly dropped on top of mine, and I realized I'd unconsciously been bouncing it up and down.

"Sorry." I murmured, bringing my hand back to his hair to lull him back to sleep. He settled back down, but I could tell he wouldn't be falling back asleep. "We have to get ready for the storm." I whispered quietly, though the thought of leaving this bed made me want to curl farther into him.

"I know." He whispered back, his thumb rubbing my stomach. He took a deep breath before pushing himself to his hands. I moved my hands to his arms, rubbing them lightly while I watched him shake his head to wake up. He dipped his head back down to mine, surprising me with a deep kiss. I didn't mind. I was tempted to try for another round, but I would be even more exhausted than I already was.

He pulled back and stood up, stretching his arms above his head. I laid on my side, watching as he picked up mine and his clothes, tossing mine back at me.

"Have you guys already been collecting rain water?" I asked, unable to stop myself from ruining the moment. The mask that Bellamy wore outside of sleeping had already settled over his face again, his features hard.

"Yeah." He answered simply while I tugged my shirt over my head.

"Thanks for the elaborate answer." I joked, standing up to pull my pants on.

He grinned at me, and I felt my annoyance slip away.

"Do you think we should have everyone move everything inside now?" I asked when he held open the tent flaps. I ducked under them, waiting for him just outside. With a quick glance around, I was glad to see that no one seemed to notice or care about me exiting Bellamy's tent.

"I'll let everyone know." He replied, also looking out over everyone.

"Can you send a few people to gather some more food before we have to stay inside the drop ship?" He nodded, waving over Jasper and Jasper's friend, Monty.

"Can you two gather some more food before the storm gets bad?" They nodded without protest, turning away.

"Oh, hey Ellen." Jasper turned back around, looking between us suspiciously. I struggled to remain nonchalant, trying not to be obvious. "Want to come with?" He asked after I said nothing.

"Oh," I hadn't expected that. "No, that's okay." I answered, waving him off. He shrugged easily, not hurt at me not wanting to go. At this point, the thought of leaving camp terrified me. I needed at least a few days recuperation before I was ready to face anymore grounders.

"Be back in two hours, the storm will already be bad by then." Bellamy added. Jasper shot a salute at him while following Monty away.

"Care to show me where the rainwater is collected?" I asked as we stepped away from his tent.

"I can't, I have a few errands to run." He told me without looking down at me. I narrowed my eyes at his aloofness, not wanting to dig. "Harper can show you." He waved a girl over, who came without question. "Show Ellen around, and tell Miller to find me." She nodded and started walking away, and I shot Bellamy an _I know you're up to something_ look before following Harper.

Forty minutes later and it had already started raining, eliminating my need for a shower. Harper had helped me make sure the tarps we were using to collect rainwater were stable. When we were done with that, I'd helped everyone carry everything into the drop ship, before finally settling in a corner on the second level of the drop ship. It was noisy, but I was exhausted, and with the knowledge that we'd gotten mostly prepared for the storm, I used my jacket as a pillow against the wall and fell asleep, ready to get more than a few minutes worth of sleep.

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 **AN: Ta daaaa! Hope you enjoyed the surprise scene between Bellamy and Ellen. I know it feels a bit early in the story for it, but keep in mind that they have history together. Please continue to review!**

 **For those asking, I picture Ellen as Willa Holland with long hair. Also known as Thea from the Arrow!**


	5. Chapter 5

"Ellen, Ellen!" I awoke to someone shaking me, and I opened my eyes see Octavia squatting over me. "You have to help."

I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I tried to get out of the fuzziness of sleep. "What is it?" I mumbled, pulling my jacket on as I stood.

Octavia's hands were shaking as she hovered near me. "Bellamy, he-he went back and got the grounder, he's going to kill him, you have to-"

"Wait, slow down." I set my hands on her shoulders. She had tears in her eyes, and I took deep breaths with her to calm her down enough to tell me what was happening.

"My brother went to get the grounder, and he's going to torture him for information. But the grounder doesn't know anything! I don't even think he speaks English. Bell won't listen to me." She pleaded, pulling me through the campers and towards the ladder.

"Where is he now?" I asked firmly. My irritation was already growing.

"They're on the third floor, they have him chained up." I nodded, stepping onto the rungs of the ladder to climb up.

"Okay, okay. I'll go." I promised Octavia. "I won't let them do anything." I climbed the ladder quickly, pushing against the hatch. Thankfully, they weren't blocking it from opening. I waited until I had climbed off of the ladder to survey the room.

Hayes and Miller stood directly in front of me, blocking me from moving any further into the room. It was the top level of the drop ship, a small circular room that was only illuminated by the lamps placed around the room. The air was sticky with humidity and nerves, sweat already building on my forehead.

"Bellamy." I called out, my irritation obvious. "A word?" I asked, looking past Miller to see the Grounder awake and chained across the room. He watched me closely, his eyes not leaving me when I took a step in that direction. He had tan skin, with what looked like charcoal smudged across his face. Miller immediately put a hand on my shoulder and tried to pull me back, but I brushed it off and turned to Bellamy, who was standing near the Grounder.

"What, did my sister fetch you?" He asked with annoyance. I stalked past Miller and Hayes, coming to stand directly in front of Bellamy.

"What the fuck is this?" I spat out as quietly as I could, gesturing to the Grounder. "He was _fine_ chained up in his own house. You didn't have to drag him here."

"I am protecting this camp. I did this for all of us." He got to my level, practically hissing at me.

"This is not protecting camp! This is starting a war!" I pushed him a bit away from me, exasperated.

"We are already _in_ a war, Eleanor." I glared at Bellamy, taking a step closer to the Grounder.

" _That_ was not a war. _That_ was us invading their space. _This_ is an act of war. You kidnapped this man to what? _Torture_ him for information? He might not even speak English!" Bellamy yanked me away from the Grounder, pushing me back towards Miller and Hayes.

"He's been keeping a tally of how many of us have died. You want to pretend it's a coincidence? I'm going to do what I have to do to keep us alive." I scoffed at Bellamy, crossing my arms.

It was obvious in the way he insisted he was doing this for camp that he truly believed this was the right answer. I looked between the Grounder and Bellamy, my heart aching at the lack of judgement. Steeling myself, I looked Bellamy in the eyes. "This is not the way to do it." I told him, turning back to face the grounder. I saw Bellamy nod to Hayes and Miller, and I spun to face them myself. "You touch me and your pride won't be the only thing broken." I threatened before turning back to Bellamy. "I'm staying. You are not _touching_ this man." I threatened, before coming to stand in front of the guy locked up.

None of them protested, but I could feel Bellamy's glare. I grabbed a water bottle and ripped off a piece of my shirt, wetting it and walking closer to the grounder.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him, hoping that he could understand. He struggled against his chains when I got closer, and I held up both of my hands. "I'll be careful." I whispered, although on the inside I was shaking in my boots. I couldn't even sleep for a few hours and Bellamy goes off and does something stupid.

I dabbed at the grounder's top lip, trying to clean the blood off without brushing his probably broken nose. When I'd decided he was clean enough, I tilted the water bottle towards his mouth.

"It's just water." I promised, taking a sip from the bottle to show him it was safe to drink. He didn't say anything, but when I pressed the bottle to his lips, he drank from it without protest. When he'd decided he had enough, I turned around, crossing my arms and glaring at Bellamy, who was leaning against the wall across from me, glaring right back.

I refused to move from my spot in case any of them were thinking of grabbing me and throwing me down the ladder. Even when Clarke came up, I stood my ground, observing from a distance at what Bellamy showed her. When Raven yelled up that Finn was seizing, I'd taken a step forward, but as soon as Bellamy straightened up, I'd taken my step right back, unwilling to even give them the chance to get closer to him.

I don't care what Bellamy and his minions thought of me, or how they believed this grounder was responsible for the attacks, he was still a human being. Miller had slid a piece of metal over the hatch after Clarke went down to prevent anyone else from coming up, and Bellamy had come to stand in front of me, challenging me to move. He didn't touch me however, and I stood as tall as I could in front of the grounder.

There was a pounding on the hatch door, and I jumped slightly, but Bellamy turned around and gestured for Miller to move the metal when Clarke called for it to open up.

She wasted no time in stalking over to the grounder, holding the knife that had been in Finn in front of his face, over my shoulder. I set my hands firmly on her shoulders, keeping her from going too close.

"What's on this?" She demanded.

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy asked, looking between the knife and the grounder.

"He poisoned the blade!" She accused, pushing me aside. "All this time, you knew Finn was gonna die no matter what we did." I stood off to the side now, conflicted. Had he really known? He couldn't have warned us? "What is it!?" Clarke screamed, now in the grounders face and unobstructed by me. I saw Octavia had climbed through the hatch and was standing at the back of the room, unnoticed. "Is there an antidote?" Clarke pleaded, taking a step back.

"Clarke, he doesn't understand you." Octavia interrupted, stepping forward.

"Vials." Bellamy suddenly realized, running to grab the small pack they'd found in the grounder's bag. "It's gotta be here."

They gathered the vials in front of the grounder, pleading with him to show which one was the antidote.

When he gave no reaction, Bellamy stalked forward, and I froze in place as I realized what was going to happen. Octavia grabbed onto his arm, pulling him back, begging him not to do anything.

"Clarke, you even said this was not who we are!" Octavia pleaded, looking back at me also. "He was protecting me, he saved my life!" She yelled, gesturing to the grounder.

"We're talking about Finn's life!" Bellamy yelled back. Things grew quiet for a moment, and I looked at Bellamy in disbelief.

"Do it." Clarke muttered. Octavia's mouth dropped open, and I looked at the grounder as Octavia ran forward.

"Just tell us!" She pleaded with the grounder. My jaw had dropped open at Clarke's consent, and I let my arms fall to my side when Hayes grabbed onto Octavia and yanked her back. I jumped back in the way of the grounder.

"This is not the way!" I yelled at them, backing up until my back brushed against the grounder. Bellamy had walked to the back of the room, using a knife to cut a seatbelt. Miller began stalking towards me, but I held my hands up in front of me, pleading for him not to move me.

"Let me talk to him!" I spun and looked at the grounder, setting both hands on his shoulders although I knew it was probably useless. "Please. We just want to save our friend." I begged. "I don't want them to hurt you but we _need_ your help." I asked, desperate. A hand grabbed my arm, trying to tug me away. I threw my arm in a circle, forcing them to let go. When I realized the grounder wasn't going to talk, I turned to see Bellamy standing behind me. "This is a human _being,_ Bellamy." I pleaded, not understanding why he wasn't getting what I was saying. "Don't stoop down to their level." I set a hand on Bellamy's hand, begging him to stop.

"We're running out of time." Is all he said.

"No!" I cried out, trying to push him back. He easily resisted, and I tried to grab his hands to keep him from doing anything. "Bellamy, if you're doing this for redemption, don't. I forgive you okay? You don't have to do this!" I whispered, setting a hand on his cheek. He said nothing, only stared down at me with cold eyes. "Please, I can't forgive you if you go through with this." I pleaded, pulling at his shirt. "You are not a torturer, Bellamy." I tried, and for a moment he almost seemed to be listening to me. "He is a person, just like you and me." Silence filled the room, and I saw his eyes go back to cold, and I knew my words weren't changing his mind. "If you want to hurt him you have to go through me." I warned, backing up again to the grounder. Bellamy strode forward, and I pushed back at him, but he just grabbed the lapels of my jacket, throwing me to the side. I stumbled and my head hit one of the support beams in the room. I tried to stand back up, but everything was spinning and then my sight went black, rendering me unconscious.

I awoke to my head pounding once again. I was rapidly growing tired of the constant headaches. I peeked an eye open, unsure of where I was. To my surprise, I was no longer on the third floor of the drop ship. Instead, I was on the first floor. Raven was curled into a ball beside me, on what I guessed was a makeshift bed. Over her, I could see Clarke hunched over Finn. She wasn't crying, so I took it as a sign that he wasn't dead. Did that mean they'd gotten the antidote?

Bile grew in my throat, and before I could stop myself, I was heaving over the edge of the bed, right onto the ground. Clarke was instantly by my side, pulling my hair back away from my face.

"Hey, hey. It's okay." She murmured, gently pushing me back to laying down when I'd stopped throwing up. "You've got a concussion, but it doesn't seem to be too serious." She told me, pressing a damp cloth to my forehead. It was cool against my skin, but I swatted her hand away and sat up. She passed me a cup, and I quickly drank some, wanting the taste of bile out of my mouth.

"What happened?" I asked, patting the space beside me. I was angry at Clarke, yes. She had given Bellamy the okay to torture the grounder. But it wasn't her who tossed me to the side like a rag doll.

She sighed and sat down, taking the water bottle back from me. "We got what we needed." I scoffed and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. If she wasn't going to tell me what happened, I would find out for myself.

"El, that isn't the best idea-" Clarke began, but was cut off by the sound of rustling from Finn. Immediately she jumped up to check on him, and I stood to my feet, bracing myself against the wall when everything started spinning. After a moment, it stopped, and I carefully crossed the room to the ladder, gripping tightly to each rung to ensure that in case another bout of dizziness hit, I wouldn't let go.

I made it to the third floor without problems, and was surprised to see the hatch open. When I pulled myself up and over, a tan hand reached over to help me steady myself. Expecting Bellamy, I was surprised to see Miller guarding the grounder. At least that meant he was still alive.

I surveyed the room, and Octavia was tending to the grounder's injuries, who definitely looked worse than before. I glared at Miller, associating him with what had happened, and grabbed the chair opposite him and dragged it towards Octavia, needing to sit but wanting to stay near her.

At this point, it felt like the only one who had any humanity left in them was Octavia. She glanced over at the sound of dragging, shooting me a grim smile before turning back to the grounder. After a minute of silence, I leaned forward.

"What happened?" I asked, hoping that she'd provide me with an accurate depiction.

"Well, after Bell knocked you out cold, they dragged you downstairs. My brother started hitting our prisoner with a seatbelt, and when he didn't give it up, he stabbed him in the hand with a screw. And then Raven got the idea to electrocute him." I gasped at that, shocked that I'd been unable to convince anyone to keep from torturing the poor guy. "And then I sliced my arm with the poison, and he gave it up." My eyebrows furrowed, and Octavia turned over her shoulder to look at me, and I saw the makeshift bandage wrapped around her forearm. "So all that torturing they did was useless. They can't even justify it with saving Finn." She scoffed and turned back to the grounder, patting at the wound in his hand. "That was _me."_ She practically spat out. I hung my head in shame, feeling terrible for everything my people had done to this poor man. At the same time though, I was shocked to learn he had feelings for Octavia. At least enough feelings for her that he'd chosen to save her life instead of letting her die along with Finn.

"Octavia, you know your brother doesn't want you up here." Miller called out, beckoning her over. She glanced at him, looking at the worn down grounder. I stood up, walking over to her.

"I'll take over." I promised, and she let go of the rag in my hand, giving me one last weak smile before turning and following Miller down the ladder.

I turned back to the grounder, faced with just how terrible he looked. In short, he looked how I felt. He watched my movements, and I was as gentle as I could be.

"I'm sorry for what my people did to you." I whispered, dabbing around the wound on his hand. "They're not cruel people." I assured him, although I wasn't even sure that he understood. "They're just scared." Clarke had been smart enough to bring up an arsenal of medical supplies, which Octavia hadn't touched. I knew basic first aid, having practiced it several times on rowdy little kids back when I'd been a teacher on the Ark. "I figure you're probably scared, too." I glanced up from wrapping his hand to see he was watching me, the studying look on his face. "I am." I offered, looking back at the wound. "I ran from home for a stupid reason." I confessed, hoping that he might not understand me. "And then I walk into this shit hole." I chuckled a bit at myself, tucking the edge of the bandage into itself so that it would stay put. "I honestly can't decide if it's worse up there or down here." I squeezed out the rag in the water, moving to his reopened wounds on his face. "Up there, I didn't have to worry about someone running off and capturing another person to torture." He winced when I pressed a little too hard at one, and I hastily apologized, jerking my hand back. "Sorry for unloading all my deep, dark secrets on you." I resumed patting gently at his forehead, trying to clean the dried blood. "I know you probably don't understand me, but I think it's better to talk while working." I finished cleaning his face, and began inspecting the bruises that dotted his chest, running my finger over the welts. It hurt my heart knowing that Bellamy had caused it. Part of his ribs were bruising, and when I ran my finger over it, he winced. "Well, I'm pretty sure you've got at least once broken rib. But the good news is that it doesn't look like there's any internal bleeding." I said mostly to myself now. "I won't let them hurt you anymore." I promised as I moved on from his front to his back, only partially surprised to see dried blood covering the back of his shoulder. Sighing, I grabbed the bloody rag from the water and set to work trying to determine if there were any cuts on his back or if it was just dried blood.

A few minutes later and I'd cleaned all the wounds I could see, giving him more water. Someone had set a plate of smashed berries on a table, and I even got him to take a few bites before the sound of the hatch opening startled both of us. I set the plate down and stood in front of him, already feeling anger growing in me at the thought of anyone trying to hurt him again.

"El?" Bellamy called out, turning to look around at me. How _dare_ he just come up here, acting like everything was peachy. He stood to his full height, and I crossed my arms to keep myself from throwing something at him. "Clarke told me you were awake." _Traitor._ I thought, my eyes narrowing.

"What? Come to knock me out again?" I asked sarcastically. He pursed his lips, taking what I threw at him. "Once wasn't enough?" I asked incredulously, dropping my hands to my sides. "What else wasn't enough? _Torturing?"_ I scoffed and looked at the wall, wanting to hit Bellamy with how angry I was. He didn't say anything, and I glanced at him. He had his hands on the back of the chair, just taking what I was throwing at him. I knew that although he wasn't looking at me, he was listening. I knew because I had been in that position. Letting people throw all their anger at you until you wear yourself down enough for reason. At the pause in my yelling, he looked up at me, and I shook my head and looked back to the wall, when I spotted a lone seatbelt on the floor. Anger rose in me once again, and I stalked to it, scooping it up in my hands quickly.

"You want to keep torturing someone?" I whispered harshly at Bellamy, striding through the room to him. When I was just in front of him, I shoved the chair he'd been leaning on to the side, pushing the seatbelt into his hands.

"El, stop." He pleaded, looking up at the ceiling.

"No, you don't get to call me that." I threatened, shoving him back. "Hit me." I dared, pushing him again.

"I'm not going to hit you." He tried to drop the seatbelt, but I pushed it into his hands again. I smacked his chest, yelling for him to hit me again.

He dropped the seatbelt suddenly, surprising me by pinning my arms to my side. "I am _not_ going to hit you." He whispered while bent down to my face. I shrugged his arms off, taking a step back.

"You're not going to hit me because you know it's wrong." I told him, raising a finger as if I was scolding a child. He looked away from me again, either in embarrassment or because he didn't want to listen. "The next time you think this-" I gestured to the seatbelt, and then at the grounder. "Is the answer." I paused, taking a step in front of him, looking up at him as though I was going to kiss him. "Remember this. Remember me, standing in front of you _begging_ you not to." I turned and walked away from Bellamy, back to the grounder. I crossed one hand over my arm, the other forming a fist and pressing to my lips, willing myself to stop the burning of tears in my eyes.

"I made the wrong choice." Bellamy pleaded, and I heard him walking towards me slowly. I turned to look at him, my arms still in the same place. When he said nothing else I gestured for him to go on. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry I knocked you out."

"And?"

"And what?" I gestured to the grounder behind me, and Bellamy scoffed. "I am _not_ apologizing to him!" I fixed Bellamy with a glare, and he sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry I tortured you." He said as insincerely as was possible, but at least it was a start.

I looked to the grounder, and for a second I could swear that I saw the hint of a smile cross his face, if only for just a second. Ignoring it, I turned to Bellamy, who was now by my side.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" He asked with a hopeful grin.

"Absolutely not." I replied, taking a step back. "I told you if you went through with this I couldn't forgive you. And I won't." His face fell, but I steeled myself. He _deserved this._ "In fact, you _disgust_ me right now." I told him honestly, backing towards the hatch. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look past this." I lied. I desperately wanted to forgive him, if only because right now he looked like a sad puppy I'd kicked while he was down. I turned without another word, climbing down the ladder and shutting the hatch behind me. I wasn't even to the bottom of the second floor when the sound of something clattering across the floor was heard above me. I glanced up, thinking back to the first time Bellamy and I had kissed, back on the Ark, before I continued down, ready to move on from this and find some work to do.


	6. Chapter 6

I was helping break apart one of the larger branches that had fallen in camp when Octavia found me.

"Hey." She called out, and I broke apart from the small group to meet her at the foraging table, where I picked up a small pack of berries to eat.

Jasper and Monty smiled at us, and I raised my little handful as a greeting at them as we walked away. Octavia was just under my height, her long black hair contrasting her tan skin, but complimented with her blue eyes. She was, in my opinion, gorgeous.

"What's up?" I asked, popping a berry into my mouth. I offered her one, but she declined, leading us towards the wall.

Her hands dug into her pockets. "I just wanted to say thanks."

My eyebrows scrunched together, going through the events of the past few days. "For?" I asked, not sure what she was referring to.

"For trying to protect the grounder. And for cleaning his wounds." I pursed my lips and nodded, popping another berry into my mouth. I hadn't checked on him in the past few hours, and the thought that he was still strung up in the top level of the drop ship while I was relaxing out in the sun made me feel queasy.

"I didn't really protect him that well." I joked, stopping to lean against the wall. She grinned up at me, and I felt the edges of my mouth turn up in response. "But you're welcome."

It was quiet for a beat before Octavia spoke up. "Bellamy won't let me see him." I nodded, chewing for a moment before I replied.

"Can you really blame him?" I asked, swallowing what I'd been chewing. "I mean the last time he saw you with him, you slashed open your wrist." She laughed and nodded, holding up her wrapped arm.

"I just-he was just trying to save me. And this is what he gets." I nodded, pursing my lips and looking up to the sky. "At least they're not going to kill him."

I snorted and nodded, pushing back from the wall. "Now we just have to figure out how to get him out of here." I joked, leaving her standing there while I made my way back to the pile of branches.

The cold was really setting in now, and I pulled my jacket tighter around me while walking. I had only been down here 5 or 6 days, but in that time the chills that had only plagued early morning had begun staying longer throughout the day. Clarke and I had been trying to figure out a solution. At this rate, we would be dead in a month if we couldn't figure out how to survive against the winter.

"Hey, Ellen!" I looked over my shoulder to see Clarke. The first night after the torturing, she had sat with me inside a tent and told me about how she regretted letting Bellamy do it, and how she was so clouded in wanting to save Finn that she wasn't thinking clearly. We'd talked out our differences, and then she'd tried to get me to talk to Bellamy.

If he wanted to talk to me, that was fine. I'd been forced next to Bellamy a few times, especially when I was instructing to make footholds on the tallest tree just outside of camp, so that we could have a high looking point for keeping an eye out for grounders. I'd been as nice as I could be, even giving him one of my rations and my water when he sent everyone for lunch but didn't want to take a break himself.

"Are you ready to talk to your mom?" I grinned and practically threw the branch I'd been dragging down, jogging to the dropship while I thought of my conversation with the Council earlier in the week.

 _"_ _Everyone can see me?" I whispered to Clarke, pulling the headset over my ears. She nodded, biting her lip and moving a few feet away to give me some privacy._

 _"_ _Head Counselor Compton." Jaha greeted, the only one I could see on the little screen._

 _I swallowed my nerves, sitting up just a bit taller. "Chancellor Jaha." I replied, pulling my seat in and suddenly feeling like a child getting chastised._

 _His arms folded on the screen, and I tried to avoid looking like I was nervous. "I must say, when we found out you'd been on the escape pod, we were a bit surprised." I nodded, the nerves in my stomach churning._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Chancellor." I leaned forward on the table, my fingers laced together under my chin, and I only glanced up when I had to. The rest of the time, my eyes were glued to the corner of the table._

 _"_ _Why is it that you decided to leave?" He asked, cutting right to the point. I sucked in a deep breath and looked straight at him, knowing that it was now or never._

 _"_ _Well, you did float my superior for the same reason." I said lamely, not having thought of a more eloquent way of putting it. "I also felt that it was wrong to send a bunch of delinquents to the ground with no warning whatsoever, and felt that I'd be of more use down here than up there."_

 _"_ _Would you care to elaborate?" Jaha asked, and I suddenly felt embarrassed for my reasoning._

 _I swallowed and brought my hands down to my lap, twiddling my thumbs where they couldn't see it. I had to take responsibility for my actions, I reminded myself. "Head Counselor Freeman was floated for treason, the reason being that one of the people he had counseled had made a bad decision. The blame was on Freeman." I stuttered out. Jaha had a way of belittling your reasoning._

 _Jaha cleared his throat and leaned forward, his arms on the table. "Head Counselor Freeman was floated because he encouraged Jake Griffin to release classified information to the Ark." My eyes widened at the mention of Clarke's father._

 _"_ _So," I was processing the information, suddenly it made more sense. "Freeman was floated for-" I glanced up at Clarke, who was looking over a map at the next table over. "It was his bad advice that got him floated. . ." I looked down at the ground. "Not because his client made a bad decision."_

 _"_ _We were withholding this information from everyone." Jaha told me, and I sat back in my chair. I came down here on a whim, not because there was actually any danger to me. I'd made the wrong choice, and now I looked like a coward._

 _I swallowed and straightened back up, wanting to appear more confident in my decision. "I still stand by my reasoning of coming down here to guide these children in making the right choices." Jaha did his "I know you're wrong but I'll go along with it" grin and leaned back, setting his hands on his legs._

 _"_ _And how is that going?" He asked. I swallowed, thinking of the grounder trapped just two floors above me._

 _"_ _We're working together to make the best choices." I told him firmly. "Down here it's not as black and white as it was up there." I tried, thinking of Clarke, Bellamy, and I talking about what to do with the grounder. I'd managed to convince them not to kill him, but letting him go meant he'd come back with more reinforcements, and that could be the end of our little camp._

 _Jaha cleared his throat, and I pursed my lips. "Council, if you would excuse me, there are some things I need to discuss with Head Counselor Compton." Jaha looked off the screen, and I could hear the scraping of chairs and footsteps. He shuffled some papers in front of him, and I watched as he sorted through them, before looking back up at me. "What do you make of Bellamy Blake?" I leaned back in my chair, thinking of how hard he was working to make up for everything he'd done._

 _"_ _I think that he's trying to atone for a crime he isn't at blame for committing." I answered, leaning onto my elbows. "Chancellor, there's no way Bellamy shot you for no reason. Someone helped him." Jaha leaned onto the table, getting closer to the camera. "He won't tell me who it was, but there is someone on the ship that wants you dead."_

 _He nodded, practically whispering. "I need you to find out who it was." I shrugged, leaning back in my chair._

 _"_ _I can't just force him to tell me, Jaha." He slammed his fist down on the table and leaned back, obviously frustrated. "This is something you need to talk with him about."_

 _"_ _I would talk with him about it, if he would actually sit down with me." I nodded, bringing my hands under my chin in thought._

 _"_ _It's hard to get someone to talk with you when it feels like you're walking to your sentencing." I told him, not looking at the camera. Jaha said nothing, and I glanced back up to see him rubbing his face. "If you could just promise that you're not going to punish him for a crime he was forced-"_

 _"_ _It is_ _ **not**_ _that simple, Counselor Compton." He said with finality, and I shut my mouth. "I can't just allow him to walk free, we have laws-"_

 _"_ _I understand, Chancellor Jaha, but the laws down here are different-"_

 _"_ _He committed his crime on the Ark, therefore the rules of us apply-"_

 _"_ _But when you come down here, you will be on our turf-"_

 _"_ _ENOUGH!" He shouted, slamming his hands down on the table. I swallowed and sat back in the chair, realizing I may have gone a bit too far. "This is something that I will discuss with Bellamy." I nodded, and despite how angry he was, the little bit of hope that I had for saving Bellamy fluttered. He had left room for discussion, that was better than nothing. "Now, do you want me to schedule time with your mom?" I nodded, realizing that our conversation was coming to an end. And for that, I was grateful. At least I'd gotten it out of the way._

"Eleanor!" My mom sat in front of the little camera, a huge smile plastered on her face when I took my seat.

"Hi, Mom." I grinned, pressing a hand to the screen. Everyone always said I was the spitting image of my mother, which I was always proud of. My mother was beautiful. She had long, golden brown hair that she usually wore back in a braid, the lightest green eyes I'd ever seen, and a heart bigger than I could ever hope to have. She was one of the Ark's best teachers, the reason I'd gone into teaching in the first place, but it was also she who had inspired me to switch professions into Counseling.

"How are you, baby?" She asked, getting closer to look at me in the screen. "You look like you've had a rough few days." I grinned and wiped away a tear that had been gathering in my eye. "Oh, stop that crying, you'll make me cry!" She laughed, sitting back in her chair.

"I'm sorry, Mom!" I whined out, a sob escaping me. Mom immediately started sniffling, and I knew she hated seeing me upset. "I didn't mean to leave you, it was selfish and stupid and-"

"Oh honey, it's okay." She promised, reaching out like she was going to touch me. "Look at you. I am _so_ proud." I nodded and wiped at my tears, my hands shaking. "You are on Earth!" She laughed, and I felt a gurgle of laughter bubble from my throat. "I'm going to be on the first drop ship!" She told me excitedly.

"Are you really?" I asked, excited at the thought of seeing my mom again. She nodded with enthusiasm, and I jumped up in the seat, a shriek of excitement escaping me. I could hear Mom's laughter, and I looked around the dropship to see everyone had only spared me a quick glance before going back to what they were doing. I had no doubt that they'd seen weirder stuff while parents and children reconnected.

"Tell me about it!" She laughed, setting her hand against the screen.

I laughed and wiped at my eyes again, words pouring from my mouth faster than I could stop, telling her about the trees that towered over us, the water that was so plentiful I'd taken multiple swims, and the food that we scavenged. I told her about the juicy meat we cooked for dinner, the ripe berries that burst with flavor in our mouths. I was telling her about the butterflies that glowed at night when we were interrupted by one of the guards informing that our time was up.

"I love you, baby girl." Mom told me, pressing her fingers to her lips before pressing them to the screen.

"I love you too, Mom." I copied her movements, standing from the chair and wiping at the tears that gathered in my eyes.

Clarke was suddenly at my side, passing me a rag and patting me on the shoulder, a smile on her face. I grinned back, feeling lighter than before. When I stepped outside the drop ship, everything seemed just a bit brighter. My mom was coming, and despite being anxious about the grounder and the possibility of war coming, I was excited.

"Have a good talk?" I turned to see Bellamy next to the fire, warming up his hands. I pursed my lips and nodded, stepping next to him. We'd talked a few times since our big fight, but I'd remained as civil as I could.

"You talked to Jaha yet?" He sighed and shook his head, looking back to the fire.

"Can I. . ." I looked at Bellamy, wondering what he was going to ask. "Can I just. . . Talk to you?" He stuttered out, not even looking up at me. I pursed my lips and nodded. Would this finally be the apology he had yet to give me?

He led me away from the center of camp, and I realized we were walking towards his tent.

"Bellamy." I grabbed his hand just before his tent. I knew that if we went inside, and he started kissing me, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. "Out here." I told him, although there was an edge to my voice.

He sighed and looked around, crossing his arms and looking anywhere besides me. "This is more of a private conversation." He pleaded, gesturing to his tent. I shook my head and crossed my own arms. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking towards the sky. It was a few seconds before he spoke again. "I just. . ." He struggled with his words, and for a second I almost felt bad for him. What was he trying to discuss? Jaha? The camp? Was he just embarrassed to apologize to me in front of other people? "I just wanted to say you're really good for the camp." I raised an eyebrow, not having expected a compliment.

"Bellamy Blake." I said with a grin. "What are you buttering me up for?" I asked, nudging him with my elbow. He grinned, and I realized that I had only seen him smile a few times since I met him. And honestly, it was something I'd be glad to see more of. His whole face lit up when he smiled.

"I just don't think anyone's told you thanks for coming down here." I smiled and nodded, thinking this might be the closest thing to a real apology I'd get for a while.

"It's definitely something I could hear more of." I joked. Bellamy smiled down at me again, and I was taken back by how serious this smile was. "Is there something else?" I asked, suddenly feeling suspicious. "What are you planning?" I asked, setting a hand on his elbow.

"N-nothing." He was obviously lying, and I took a step back.

"Bellamy, are you going to do something to the grounder?" I know we'd been on shaky ground, still unsure, but I was hoping that we'd at least decided we weren't going to kill him.

"No, no. Ellen, he's fine. I'm not doing anything." Bellamy assured me. I nodded, but the seed of doubt was already planted. "I promise, I'm not going to do anything." I bit my lip.

"You won't mind if I go check on him anyways?" I asked, Bellamy sighed and gestured to go to the dropship, following me.

When we climbed up the ladder, Octavia was sitting right next to the entrance to the third floor. Bellamy stopped to talk to her, while I continued up.

Miller was on guard again, but he only spared me a glance when I moved past him to the grounder. I'd visited at least twice a day, making sure he ate and drank and checking his wounds.

The grounder said nothing again as I greeted him, immediately moving to check his hand, the worst of the injuries.

"My mom is coming down." I told him absently, wanting to fill the quietness with some small talk. "I felt bad for leaving her up there, but I knew I'd be better down here." I told him, changing the bandages on his hand. "It doesn't look infected, but it will take a while to heal." He said nothing, and I'd grown to accept that he didn't reply. Sometimes, though, it almost felt like he could understand me. Especially when I made jokes about Bellamy being a huge dick. The corners of his mouth would twitch, but he'd never actually smile. I checked his ribs, running my hand along the indents.

"Jesus, are you into the grounder? No wonder you spend so much time up here." Miller called out. I turned and shot him a glare.

"What? Jealous?" I asked, knowing he had a boyfriend on the Ark.

"I'm not jealous of this trash." He spat, coming to stand near. "I wish Bellamy would just let me end this, once and for all." I pushed him back a few steps.

"Try anything and I'll put you in his place." I threatened. We stood toe to toe for a second before the creak of the hatch opening drew both of our attention. Clarke climbed up first, followed by Bellamy.

"Miller, you get a break. Come back in a few minutes." Bellamy ordered. Miller looked back at me, and I shot him a shrug, but he followed Bellamy's orders.

When the hatch had shut behind him, I reached for the water bottle we kept near the grounder, moving to give him water. He shook his head no, and I set it back on the ground, turning to face Bellamy and Clarke.

"We're going on a trip to look for an emergency aid center." Clarke told me. I crossed my arms, unsure why she was telling me.

"I don't want to go." I told her simply. Leaving the grounder without one of us being near, I would worry someone would try to murder him.

"We're not asking you to." Clarke told me, taking a step closer. "We want you to keep an eye on camp."

I nodded after a moment. "How long will you be gone?" I asked, not wanting to be left without help.

"We should be back by nightfall, it's just a few miles West." I nodded, there were only a few hours left in the day.

"Is that all?" Clarke nodded, and she reached forward to give me a hug. "Be careful." She waved goodbye, heading down the hatch, leaving me alone with Bellamy and the grounder.

"I'm worried Miller will try something." I confessed, turning back to the grounder.

"He won't." Bellamy promised, setting a hand on my shoulder to turn me back to him. "He may not act like it, but he listens to you." I sighed and nodded, having no choice but to believe him. "Hey." He put a finger under my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Be careful." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You be careful." I told him, setting a hand on top of his. Things may be more strained between us, but I didn't want anything to happen to Bellamy while he was gone. He nodded, and suddenly he leaned forward, pressing our lips together. I stilled for a moment, shocked that he'd done it, before I pulled back, my eyebrows furrowed together.

"Bellamy. . ." I started, but he was already pulling back and walking towards the hatch.

"I know, I know." He started down the ladder, a cheeky grin on his face. I couldn't help the small smile that spread across my own, turning back to the grounder when Bellamy shut the hatch behind him.

"Boys." I muttered, reaching for the water again. I saw a grin flicker across his face before he was back to his normal stony eyed look, and I was sure I'd imagined it. I held up the water again, gesturing for him to drink it, but he tilted his chin away. I sighed, opening the water to take a sip, when I smelled urine. Someone had pissed in his water. I pursed my lips and nodded, realizing now why he hadn't wanted any. "I'll go get you some new water." I told him, heading back the way I'd come. I passed Octavia on the way down, tilting my chin towards the ceiling so she knew it was okay for her to go up there quickly.

Why had Bellamy kissed me? Was he trying to bribe me to sleep with him again? I had been fairly certain he'd slept with another girl two nights ago, winking at me when I caught him flirting. It hadn't bugged me though, as far as I was concerned he could do what he wanted. I'd made out a few times with Hayes, but I still wasn't comfortable with the fact that he was so much younger than me. Now that the Ark was going to start sending people down, my dating pool would be opening up once again.

"Ellen!" Monty and Jasper were waving at me from the foraging table. Jasper pointed at his open mouth, and then took aim towards me. I grinned and opened my mouth, cheering when the nut he threw made it into my mouth. Jasper and Monty cheered as I walked over to their table, stealing a few nuts to eat on my way back to the grounder.

"Going up to dote on the grounder?" Jasper asked with a smile, not in a mean way.

"Always." I smiled back, tossing another of the nuts in my mouth. "These are really good today." I commented, swiping another handful before leaving them.

After I'd taken clean water back up to the grounder, I went back to the tree we'd been working on our crow's nest, climbing all the way up. So far, the very top of it was just a few boards as a floor. It was sturdy, but we were going to put some rails around it so that no one would fall, along with a net of leaves across the front to hide it from being seen.

I sat on the edge, my legs dangling off, with the packet of nuts open in my lap and my water open. I'd grabbed one of the sets of binoculars before coming up, and I used them to survey the area around us.

It was mostly trees, and if I'd been scared of heights, I would have been intimidated, but I knew I wouldn't fall from up here.

I spotted movement to my left, and I fixed my gaze that way. Clarke and Bellamy were walking away from camp at a quick pace. I grinned and watched them for a second, wishing I could get their attention.

The spot in the trees was high enough that I was able to watch them for several minutes. It felt a bit creepy, watching them when they didn't know I was, but I felt better being able to see them walk away, even if it was only for the beginning of their journey.

When they finally disappeared from my sight, I looked around where they'd been, making sure no one was following them. When I saw a blur of dark color reach the top of the hill they'd disappeared behind, I'd nearly dropped the binocular in surprise. Readjusting it, I saw someone in our clothes following the same path Bellamy and Clarke had taken, far enough behind that they wouldn't hear him.

I knew that I needed to follow him, the way he wasn't trying to catch up to them to let them know he was there left a bad taste in my mouth.

I threw the rest of the nuts in my mouth, using my teeth to hold the binoculars while I swung my leg to reach the first foothold down.

A couple feet from the bottom, I reached my foot down for the foothold, but I couldn't feel it. Glancing down, the ground seemed to shrink away from me. Confused, I felt out with my foot again, and this time I felt it connect against something solid. Testing the weight, I continued on my way down, trying to ignore the spinning. After what felt like forever, I looked down to see how much farther I had to go. I was still so far from the bottom.

 _I have to get to Bellamy and Clarke._ I reminded myself. When I looked back at the tree, the foothold I'd had my hands wrapped around seemed to stretch out, and my grip on it slipped.

For a second, it felt like I was floating, my hair whipping around above me. I didn't feel the impact of the ground under me, but I had the wind knocked out of me. I couldn't even feel my limbs, but I sat up, running in the direction I'd last seen Clarke and Bellamy at.


End file.
